Sunday, August 31, 2003
Paradise on Earth
(Written on the last day of our two weeks on retreat and renewal of Spirit.
Hope you have been reading my daily reminders on lovingreminders.org)
Hawaii is a culture of diverse peoples and traditions.
The earth meets the sea with beauty and grace, strength and intensity.
The sky meet the sea with the color of peace and spiritual expression.
The blues are as varied as are the greens.
Blues symbolize peace and greens connote Love.
Many forms of peace and love are ever present on Hawaii.
Here on the Big Island, there are many opportunities to learn and heal, to awaken and give.
Some awarenesses we have had during our days of stress free living were:
Beauty and bounty are everywhere. They merely await our notice and enjoyment.
Opportunities for giving are ever present. It is easy to give where you are received with love.
You need have very little when you love so much. Empty living causes one to want to get more things.
The richness of the earth and sea feeds body and soul. When we honor the plenty that is free, we are free.
Time means nothing when each moment offers everything. To fully receive the gift of each moment is to experience true prosperity.
Life is for giving. When we give, we are healed and whole.
Listen within to know who and how to serve. Every relationship is for the purpose of healing.
Respect your elders. Honor and care for wise ones to learn respect.
Children need not be unhappy when being loved. To care for each child with love begets more Love.
There is enough for all. Use what we have wisely and with gratitude and there is always enough for everyone.
Living is easy, when we heal our real needs.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Hope you have been reading my daily reminders on lovingreminders.org)
Hawaii is a culture of diverse peoples and traditions.
The earth meets the sea with beauty and grace, strength and intensity.
The sky meet the sea with the color of peace and spiritual expression.
The blues are as varied as are the greens.
Blues symbolize peace and greens connote Love.
Many forms of peace and love are ever present on Hawaii.
Here on the Big Island, there are many opportunities to learn and heal, to awaken and give.
Some awarenesses we have had during our days of stress free living were:
Beauty and bounty are everywhere. They merely await our notice and enjoyment.
Opportunities for giving are ever present. It is easy to give where you are received with love.
You need have very little when you love so much. Empty living causes one to want to get more things.
The richness of the earth and sea feeds body and soul. When we honor the plenty that is free, we are free.
Time means nothing when each moment offers everything. To fully receive the gift of each moment is to experience true prosperity.
Life is for giving. When we give, we are healed and whole.
Listen within to know who and how to serve. Every relationship is for the purpose of healing.
Respect your elders. Honor and care for wise ones to learn respect.
Children need not be unhappy when being loved. To care for each child with love begets more Love.
There is enough for all. Use what we have wisely and with gratitude and there is always enough for everyone.
Living is easy, when we heal our real needs.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Gratitude is Healing
When we are appreciative of our environment, our provision, our relationships, our life work, our body, our whole lives, we are blessed with healing. Gratitude heals our minds, our bodies and our Spirit. Gratitude brings Peace to our minds, Ease to our bodies and Joy to our Spirit.
Experiment with criticism and gratitude. Spend an hour or even five minutes in criticism and complaining and notice the depression, fatigue and lack of motivation. Then for an hour or so, consciously choose to be grateful. Notice the open thinking, the energy flow, the desire to create and enjoy. The difference is profound and may of itself convince you to spend more time in appreciation and less in negativity.
Gratitude opens the flow. Criticism contracts.
Gratitude increases positive change. Negativity decreases the positive possibilities and increases negative change.
When you want to encourage your body to respond with healing, appreciate your body obviously in thoughts, word and action. When you want to improve the quality of your relationships, appreciate the relationship, yourself and the others with your thoughts and prayers, your words of praise and blessing, as well as your behavior and enjoyment.
When you want to encourage the flow of money or healing or attitude, focus on all that you love and value with gratitude and praise. When you want to improve your workplace, your home environment and your lifestyle, pay attention to what is working rather than what is not working. Choose to emphasize with your thoughts, words and deeds all that you wish to increase. Gratitude in liberal doses is a valuable medicine and healing tool.
I am grateful for you.
I am grateful for my life.
I am grateful for my partnerships.
I am grateful for learning and healing.
I am grateful for my mind, body and Spirit.
I am grateful for this Beautiful and Bountiful Earth.
I am grateful for the Infinite and All-knowing One.
I am grateful for the limitless blessings in All That Is,
Betty Lue
Experiment with criticism and gratitude. Spend an hour or even five minutes in criticism and complaining and notice the depression, fatigue and lack of motivation. Then for an hour or so, consciously choose to be grateful. Notice the open thinking, the energy flow, the desire to create and enjoy. The difference is profound and may of itself convince you to spend more time in appreciation and less in negativity.
Gratitude opens the flow. Criticism contracts.
Gratitude increases positive change. Negativity decreases the positive possibilities and increases negative change.
When you want to encourage your body to respond with healing, appreciate your body obviously in thoughts, word and action. When you want to improve the quality of your relationships, appreciate the relationship, yourself and the others with your thoughts and prayers, your words of praise and blessing, as well as your behavior and enjoyment.
When you want to encourage the flow of money or healing or attitude, focus on all that you love and value with gratitude and praise. When you want to improve your workplace, your home environment and your lifestyle, pay attention to what is working rather than what is not working. Choose to emphasize with your thoughts, words and deeds all that you wish to increase. Gratitude in liberal doses is a valuable medicine and healing tool.
I am grateful for you.
I am grateful for my life.
I am grateful for my partnerships.
I am grateful for learning and healing.
I am grateful for my mind, body and Spirit.
I am grateful for this Beautiful and Bountiful Earth.
I am grateful for the Infinite and All-knowing One.
I am grateful for the limitless blessings in All That Is,
Betty Lue
Friday, August 29, 2003
Perfect Love
It is not how many we love, but how perfectly we love them. Love each one who comes to you with a love that is true, unfailing, patient and kind. Love each one who is sent to you with a love that is forgiving, honest and generous. Love each one who comes your way with a love that never quits on your choice to extend Love. Love each one who is loved by you with your full presence, your attention, your trust and your freedom.
To love perfectly, be unafraid.
To love perfectly, see only holiness.
To love perfectly, give all to have all.
To love perfectly forgive what is not real.
To love perfectly, seek only to give your Best.
To love perfectly, behold the Essence of the Being.
You are enough, when you choose to love perfectly.
You are enough, when you remember the Love you are.
You are enough, when you give freely of what you have.
You are enough, when you trust in the infinite Love within you.
You are enough, when you remember you and your Beloved are Love It Self.
Choose to Love with all your heart, all your mind and all your Soul.
I am always loving You,
Betty Lue
Daily Loving Reminders will be sent again on email when I return home on August 31. They will continue to be posted here on this web site.
To love perfectly, be unafraid.
To love perfectly, see only holiness.
To love perfectly, give all to have all.
To love perfectly forgive what is not real.
To love perfectly, seek only to give your Best.
To love perfectly, behold the Essence of the Being.
You are enough, when you choose to love perfectly.
You are enough, when you remember the Love you are.
You are enough, when you give freely of what you have.
You are enough, when you trust in the infinite Love within you.
You are enough, when you remember you and your Beloved are Love It Self.
Choose to Love with all your heart, all your mind and all your Soul.
I am always loving You,
Betty Lue
Daily Loving Reminders will be sent again on email when I return home on August 31. They will continue to be posted here on this web site.
Thursday, August 28, 2003
What Keeps Us from Healing
What keeps us from healing is ignorance, arrogance, fear and attachment. These unconscious habits of mind prevent us from experiencing enlightenment and the healing of Inner Wisdom.
Some choose ignorance.
“What we don’t know cannot hurt us.”
The preference to stay ignorant is either thinking we know what is unhealed of accepting that we cannot know. We may accept the diagnosis, prognosis and treatment of an authority without ever seeking more information. We may choose to not know or to ignore what is before us and within us. The mind that is full of mundane trivia cannot find room for the Divine wisdom. To choose the common and the ordinary perspective is ignorant.
Some may choose arrogance.
“ I know what I know and that is enough for me. If God wanted me to be healed, I would be healed. I already know everything there is to know, I need nothing more. I know I am lacking and limited This disease or problem is what I know and no one and nothing can change my mind.” These positions all reflect the arrogance of a fearful ego that has taken a position of “being right.” The mind that thinks it knows will not allow new information, knowledge or possibilities to enter in. It is the arrogance of the ego that keeps us separate from Divine healing.
Some may have fear.
We may be afraid of healing , for our lives will change. When we are healed, we recognize we are responsible for our healing. When we are healed, we recognize we are responsible to share healing with others. When are healed, we are aware that that opportunity was always present, although we may have been unaware. When we are healed, we discover that healing is more than physical. Healing is the relinquishment of attack, fear and judgment of the body, our finances, our relationships or any problem we may have. Healing is letting go of fear.
Some are attached.
We may find ourselves clinging to our stories of disease, woundedness, tragedy or crisis. Our story yields attention, help, care and sometimes the love we seek. Our problems may attract special people or circumstances which seem to take care of our longing for belonging, easy living and special love. When we find ourselves hanging onto an area of lack, littleness and limitation, we have found a security in what we know and believe is ours. We know how to handle what we have and so want to keep life the same. To let go and detach from our circumstances opens the door to the unknown, where we no longer have control, knowledge and assurance. Attachment is the source of all suffering.
Wherever we take a position and hold it, we cannot be healed. Healing and enlightenment are about not knowing and seeking to know. Healing is about finding peace and happiness within. Enlightenment is about allowing the Light, the Truth, to dawn on us. Only when we are at peace are we free to suspend all judgment. Only when we are at peace are we free to be wrong about our past beliefs and perceptions and to know the Higher Truth. Only when we are at peace are we free of fear and willing to let go or what we think we know.
Be at peace and know all is well.
Betty Lue
Some choose ignorance.
“What we don’t know cannot hurt us.”
The preference to stay ignorant is either thinking we know what is unhealed of accepting that we cannot know. We may accept the diagnosis, prognosis and treatment of an authority without ever seeking more information. We may choose to not know or to ignore what is before us and within us. The mind that is full of mundane trivia cannot find room for the Divine wisdom. To choose the common and the ordinary perspective is ignorant.
Some may choose arrogance.
“ I know what I know and that is enough for me. If God wanted me to be healed, I would be healed. I already know everything there is to know, I need nothing more. I know I am lacking and limited This disease or problem is what I know and no one and nothing can change my mind.” These positions all reflect the arrogance of a fearful ego that has taken a position of “being right.” The mind that thinks it knows will not allow new information, knowledge or possibilities to enter in. It is the arrogance of the ego that keeps us separate from Divine healing.
Some may have fear.
We may be afraid of healing , for our lives will change. When we are healed, we recognize we are responsible for our healing. When we are healed, we recognize we are responsible to share healing with others. When are healed, we are aware that that opportunity was always present, although we may have been unaware. When we are healed, we discover that healing is more than physical. Healing is the relinquishment of attack, fear and judgment of the body, our finances, our relationships or any problem we may have. Healing is letting go of fear.
Some are attached.
We may find ourselves clinging to our stories of disease, woundedness, tragedy or crisis. Our story yields attention, help, care and sometimes the love we seek. Our problems may attract special people or circumstances which seem to take care of our longing for belonging, easy living and special love. When we find ourselves hanging onto an area of lack, littleness and limitation, we have found a security in what we know and believe is ours. We know how to handle what we have and so want to keep life the same. To let go and detach from our circumstances opens the door to the unknown, where we no longer have control, knowledge and assurance. Attachment is the source of all suffering.
Wherever we take a position and hold it, we cannot be healed. Healing and enlightenment are about not knowing and seeking to know. Healing is about finding peace and happiness within. Enlightenment is about allowing the Light, the Truth, to dawn on us. Only when we are at peace are we free to suspend all judgment. Only when we are at peace are we free to be wrong about our past beliefs and perceptions and to know the Higher Truth. Only when we are at peace are we free of fear and willing to let go or what we think we know.
Be at peace and know all is well.
Betty Lue
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Healing Reminders
We are here to heal what is not real.
We can heal all that we mis-created.
We can heal what is not of God.
We can heal what is not loving.
We can heal what is not joyous.
We can heal what is not peaceful.
We can heal what is not for the Good of All.
We can heal what is not giving.
We can heal what is not beautiful.
We can heal what is not healthy.
We can heal what is not holy.
We can heal what is not blessing.
God did not create a world of sin, disease and death. God did not create a world of hatred, violence and war. God did not create a world of judgment, comparison and fear. God did not create a world of lack, littleness and limitation. God did not create a world of misery, suffering and depression.
God did not create what is not real.
Goodness begets Goodness…not evil.
Love begets Love…not hatred and fear.
Light begets Light…not darkness.
Joy begets Joy…not sorrow.
We are here to heal what is not of God.
We are here to heal what is not real.
We are here to remember what is of God.
We are here to experience what is Real.
Forgive the world you see.
Forgive the world of apparency.
Forgive the world of illusion.
Forgive the world we made up with our belief. Forgive the world we created with our agreement. Forgive, erase and release with our blessing.
Let it all go and see what is Real, Loving and True.
I am loving you,
True B’Lue
We can heal all that we mis-created.
We can heal what is not of God.
We can heal what is not loving.
We can heal what is not joyous.
We can heal what is not peaceful.
We can heal what is not for the Good of All.
We can heal what is not giving.
We can heal what is not beautiful.
We can heal what is not healthy.
We can heal what is not holy.
We can heal what is not blessing.
God did not create a world of sin, disease and death. God did not create a world of hatred, violence and war. God did not create a world of judgment, comparison and fear. God did not create a world of lack, littleness and limitation. God did not create a world of misery, suffering and depression.
God did not create what is not real.
Goodness begets Goodness…not evil.
Love begets Love…not hatred and fear.
Light begets Light…not darkness.
Joy begets Joy…not sorrow.
We are here to heal what is not of God.
We are here to heal what is not real.
We are here to remember what is of God.
We are here to experience what is Real.
Forgive the world you see.
Forgive the world of apparency.
Forgive the world of illusion.
Forgive the world we made up with our belief. Forgive the world we created with our agreement. Forgive, erase and release with our blessing.
Let it all go and see what is Real, Loving and True.
I am loving you,
True B’Lue
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Vacation is Healing
Taking a break from everyday life is healing.
Giving your mind a vacation is letting go of ideas, plans, concerns and strategies of everyday living. To vacate means to leave empty. When you step into the unknown, you vacate the known. You open to new vistas, new concepts, and to nothing at all. Rest and renewal come from letting go of the stress and fatigue of a life of worry, judgment and fear.
To take a mental vacation is to cease or suspend thinking stressful thoughts. To take an emotional vacation is to leave behind the resentment, grief, depression and fear or usual limiting emotional patterns.
Take a vacation and be happy and content.
Take a vacation and be peaceful.
Take a vacation and be grateful.
Take a vacation and create what is beautiful and healthy.
Take a physical vacation from your usual patterns of self-neglect or indulgence.
Take a vacation and eat healthy.
Take a vacation and exercise with joy.
Take a vacation and treat your body to massage and fresh air.
Take a vacation and pamper your whole self.
Creativity is found on vacation.
Inspiration is found on vacation.
Possibility if found on vacation.
Opportunities are found on vacation.
Take a vacation from the norm one day a week .
Take a vacation one weekend a month.
Take a vacation one month a year.
Take a vacation one hour a day.
Whatever suits you lifestyle. You can begin today, right where you are. If you need a change of scenery, go to a park or just step outside. You can always take a drive to the mountains, the woods, the coast or a nearby stream or lake. Life is filled with places and opportunities to get away. Keep a list handy of camping sites, bed and breakfast inns or rental cabins or condos. Have the self love to give yourself opportunities to get away. See how much you are nourished, renewed, inspired and healed.
Take a break today. Breathe and enjoy this moment.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Giving your mind a vacation is letting go of ideas, plans, concerns and strategies of everyday living. To vacate means to leave empty. When you step into the unknown, you vacate the known. You open to new vistas, new concepts, and to nothing at all. Rest and renewal come from letting go of the stress and fatigue of a life of worry, judgment and fear.
To take a mental vacation is to cease or suspend thinking stressful thoughts. To take an emotional vacation is to leave behind the resentment, grief, depression and fear or usual limiting emotional patterns.
Take a vacation and be happy and content.
Take a vacation and be peaceful.
Take a vacation and be grateful.
Take a vacation and create what is beautiful and healthy.
Take a physical vacation from your usual patterns of self-neglect or indulgence.
Take a vacation and eat healthy.
Take a vacation and exercise with joy.
Take a vacation and treat your body to massage and fresh air.
Take a vacation and pamper your whole self.
Creativity is found on vacation.
Inspiration is found on vacation.
Possibility if found on vacation.
Opportunities are found on vacation.
Take a vacation from the norm one day a week .
Take a vacation one weekend a month.
Take a vacation one month a year.
Take a vacation one hour a day.
Whatever suits you lifestyle. You can begin today, right where you are. If you need a change of scenery, go to a park or just step outside. You can always take a drive to the mountains, the woods, the coast or a nearby stream or lake. Life is filled with places and opportunities to get away. Keep a list handy of camping sites, bed and breakfast inns or rental cabins or condos. Have the self love to give yourself opportunities to get away. See how much you are nourished, renewed, inspired and healed.
Take a break today. Breathe and enjoy this moment.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Monday, August 25, 2003
Healing Your Attitude
Healing how you perceive and respond to your world is our most powerful healing tool.
What you believe you will see.
Believe in the intrinsic Good and underlying Love in all beings and you will see the Goodness and Love in others.
What you seek for you will find.
Seek for problems and you will find them.
Seek for solutions and you will find them.
We are choosers.
We can choose love, forgiveness and healing or we can choose fear, judgment and wounding.
What we see in others, we strengthen in ourselves. When we judge others as lacking and limited, we strengthen our own lack and limitation. When we appreciate others abundance and freedom, we strengthen our own prosperity and freedom.
We create our experience with our thoughts.
When we think with optimism, we experience happiness. When we think with pessimism, we experience life negatively.
Love is our Essence.
Love created us as Love for the purpose of Loving. When we forget our true nature, we feel guilty, lost and afraid. When we remember our Essence, we feel happy, connected and at Peace.
Joy is our natural state.
Whenever we are not happy, we have forgotten our Source and our Selves. We have stepped off our path and become lost in the mistakes of the world.
There is either Love or the call for Love.
When someone acts with lack of love or unkindness, they are calling for loving reminders. They are experiencing lack of love within themselves.
Criticism comes from self judgment in the critic.
If you are being blamed or criticized, first recognize the critic is talking about themselves. If what they are saying is beneficial to you, receive it as a blessing. If it is not about you, simply thank them for sharing, as you release the negativity with forgiveness and love.
Responses heal and reactions perpetuate.
When we are afraid, we judge and react. When we choose to extend love, we forgive and respond.
Love heals. Judgment condemns.
To extend love always undoes the lack of peace in everyone. To judge condemns both giver and receiver to fear and begets more attack and judgment.
Miracles come from Love.
Everything that comes from Love is a miracle.
When we are not experiencing miracles, we have forgotten we are Love and our purpose is Loving.
Heal your mind by changing your attitude.
When you heal your mind, you heal your life.
Begin within.
Loving you,
Betty Lue
What you believe you will see.
Believe in the intrinsic Good and underlying Love in all beings and you will see the Goodness and Love in others.
What you seek for you will find.
Seek for problems and you will find them.
Seek for solutions and you will find them.
We are choosers.
We can choose love, forgiveness and healing or we can choose fear, judgment and wounding.
What we see in others, we strengthen in ourselves. When we judge others as lacking and limited, we strengthen our own lack and limitation. When we appreciate others abundance and freedom, we strengthen our own prosperity and freedom.
We create our experience with our thoughts.
When we think with optimism, we experience happiness. When we think with pessimism, we experience life negatively.
Love is our Essence.
Love created us as Love for the purpose of Loving. When we forget our true nature, we feel guilty, lost and afraid. When we remember our Essence, we feel happy, connected and at Peace.
Joy is our natural state.
Whenever we are not happy, we have forgotten our Source and our Selves. We have stepped off our path and become lost in the mistakes of the world.
There is either Love or the call for Love.
When someone acts with lack of love or unkindness, they are calling for loving reminders. They are experiencing lack of love within themselves.
Criticism comes from self judgment in the critic.
If you are being blamed or criticized, first recognize the critic is talking about themselves. If what they are saying is beneficial to you, receive it as a blessing. If it is not about you, simply thank them for sharing, as you release the negativity with forgiveness and love.
Responses heal and reactions perpetuate.
When we are afraid, we judge and react. When we choose to extend love, we forgive and respond.
Love heals. Judgment condemns.
To extend love always undoes the lack of peace in everyone. To judge condemns both giver and receiver to fear and begets more attack and judgment.
Miracles come from Love.
Everything that comes from Love is a miracle.
When we are not experiencing miracles, we have forgotten we are Love and our purpose is Loving.
Heal your mind by changing your attitude.
When you heal your mind, you heal your life.
Begin within.
Loving you,
Betty Lue
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Home is Healing
Wherever we are at home, we feel safe and at peace.
Whenever we feel no fear, we can relax and trust ”All is Well.” Peace is healing.
I create my home to be a safe haven and sacred place for myself and those who enter in. I invite guests to remove their shoes (both practical and a spiritual sign of leaving outside the ‘dirt’ of our worldly travels). I play healing and inspiring music. I keep the sounds in the house natural with windows open, so the sound of birds and wind are heard. We have no destructive sounds or sights at home, no arguing, rarely news media except to bless, no unhealthy movies or TV shows, and everyday conversation is at a minimum. Usually we share about simple life choices (food and schedule) or our expressions of gratitude and joy. Both Robert and I share a life guided by the Spirit of Goodness, Love and Wholeness, so our focus is on creating more healing for ourselves and others. Our ‘stuff’ is either functional (serves a purpose for ourselves and our guests) or is beautiful and inspiring (holds the energy of goodness and beauty and reminds us of the Love and Light within.) We maintain our living space with order and harmony. Cleaning is a sacred rite, not a chore. It is a joy to maintain the beauty and peace in which we live. Our joy shines back on us giving us joy and peace of mind in return.
When I travel, I make myself ‘at home’ immediately. I create my living space to be my own by moving furniture (if needed), setting out my sacred reminders (an altar), playing music or singing sacred songs or chants, clearing the space with a candle or my own inner light, appreciation and joy. Sometimes I clean the space, dusting, even vacuuming and washing the sheets and towels, so I can give everything my own energy of gratitude. I make friends with those who serve me….waiters, bell captain, desk clerks, and everyone who offers help. I visit the local grocery store for water and health food. I get a map and get oriented with the town and locate exactly where I want to go. I create a sense of having always lived there. I make the place my own by following local customs and learning the language. Sometimes I look at condos or homes and consider living there permanently. There is a quality of being at home, wherever I am, that is healing and brings peace to me within a few hours of being there. If I have a car available, I like to drive around and enjoy what I see.
Appreciation is a key to being at home and feeling the Healing Presence. Wherever I cannot appreciate, I forgive by changing my mind or I transform my experience. Wherever there is criticism or negative thoughts or words being expressed, that negativity is mirrored back. What I judge, I fear. What I appreciate, I bless.
Home is enjoying where you are.
Home is appreciating what you have.
Home is knowing you are safe and loved.
Make yourself at home and you will be healed.
Loving you,
Betty Lue
If you need to contact me while I am gone, call my pager/voicemail 800-919-2392.
Whenever we feel no fear, we can relax and trust ”All is Well.” Peace is healing.
I create my home to be a safe haven and sacred place for myself and those who enter in. I invite guests to remove their shoes (both practical and a spiritual sign of leaving outside the ‘dirt’ of our worldly travels). I play healing and inspiring music. I keep the sounds in the house natural with windows open, so the sound of birds and wind are heard. We have no destructive sounds or sights at home, no arguing, rarely news media except to bless, no unhealthy movies or TV shows, and everyday conversation is at a minimum. Usually we share about simple life choices (food and schedule) or our expressions of gratitude and joy. Both Robert and I share a life guided by the Spirit of Goodness, Love and Wholeness, so our focus is on creating more healing for ourselves and others. Our ‘stuff’ is either functional (serves a purpose for ourselves and our guests) or is beautiful and inspiring (holds the energy of goodness and beauty and reminds us of the Love and Light within.) We maintain our living space with order and harmony. Cleaning is a sacred rite, not a chore. It is a joy to maintain the beauty and peace in which we live. Our joy shines back on us giving us joy and peace of mind in return.
When I travel, I make myself ‘at home’ immediately. I create my living space to be my own by moving furniture (if needed), setting out my sacred reminders (an altar), playing music or singing sacred songs or chants, clearing the space with a candle or my own inner light, appreciation and joy. Sometimes I clean the space, dusting, even vacuuming and washing the sheets and towels, so I can give everything my own energy of gratitude. I make friends with those who serve me….waiters, bell captain, desk clerks, and everyone who offers help. I visit the local grocery store for water and health food. I get a map and get oriented with the town and locate exactly where I want to go. I create a sense of having always lived there. I make the place my own by following local customs and learning the language. Sometimes I look at condos or homes and consider living there permanently. There is a quality of being at home, wherever I am, that is healing and brings peace to me within a few hours of being there. If I have a car available, I like to drive around and enjoy what I see.
Appreciation is a key to being at home and feeling the Healing Presence. Wherever I cannot appreciate, I forgive by changing my mind or I transform my experience. Wherever there is criticism or negative thoughts or words being expressed, that negativity is mirrored back. What I judge, I fear. What I appreciate, I bless.
Home is enjoying where you are.
Home is appreciating what you have.
Home is knowing you are safe and loved.
Make yourself at home and you will be healed.
Loving you,
Betty Lue
If you need to contact me while I am gone, call my pager/voicemail 800-919-2392.
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Healing Negativity
When we believe we are never good enough, we tend to see others and our world as never good enough. Our focus is on what is missing in us and in our lives.
We are constantly filling ourselves with apparently meaningful activities, goods, food, accomplishments and relationships to fill the believed lack within. Houses and closet full of stuff, resume’s listing endless achievements, address books full of both happy and unhappy relationships, and daily busyness are temporarily used to fill the inner void. However, no amount of acquisition will fill the void of learned self judgment and believed inadequacy.
Complaining is usually about what is missing. If there is no outer whining and negativity, there is a frown belying the inner critic. The usual origin is an early childhood, where parents were dissatisfied with their own lives and often with their children’s lives. A learned belief of inadequacy and self-criticism begets a life experience of comparison, envy and wishful thinking. If only I had … or were…or could do …, then I could be happy. Life is never good enough and there is hunger and need for more.
Silent symptoms are no satisfaction, little appreciation and always seeking for more to be content.
When we are in relationship with people who feel lacking, we may try to fill them up with compliments, reassurance, gifts and loving kindness. These are usually dismissed as being inadequate, false or merely ignored. The inner self has chosen a self portrait which it is unwilling to yield. The investment in a life of “poor me”, complaint and negativity is too ingrained to be released without the conscious awareness and full consent of the believer.
When we find this learned faulty thinking in ourselves, it is appropriate to accept responsibility for assuming that our parents were right in their beliefs and attitudes. It is appropriate to forgive the world and ourselves for believing in lack, unworthiness, and inadequacy. It is highest and best to affirm the perfection, the goodness and beauty in everyone including ourselves.
I forgive my negativity.
I forgive my belief in lack.
I forgive the false teachings in my childhood.
I forgive the limiting attitudes in my world.
I am open and willing to find a better way to live.
I am open to see my self with total love.
I affirm that I am Good.
I am whole and complete as I am.
I need prove nothing to my world.
I need do nothing to be whole.
I need have nothing more to be fulfilled.
As I release my faulty and limited thinking, I see myself as wholly adequate and worthy to be loved and successful in life.
I wholly appreciate my self and my Good life.
Heal negativity and inadequacy within,
Betty Lue
I have difficulty accessing email here, so be patient and know I will respond after August 31. If you need to give me a message, please call 800-919-2392.
We are constantly filling ourselves with apparently meaningful activities, goods, food, accomplishments and relationships to fill the believed lack within. Houses and closet full of stuff, resume’s listing endless achievements, address books full of both happy and unhappy relationships, and daily busyness are temporarily used to fill the inner void. However, no amount of acquisition will fill the void of learned self judgment and believed inadequacy.
Complaining is usually about what is missing. If there is no outer whining and negativity, there is a frown belying the inner critic. The usual origin is an early childhood, where parents were dissatisfied with their own lives and often with their children’s lives. A learned belief of inadequacy and self-criticism begets a life experience of comparison, envy and wishful thinking. If only I had … or were…or could do …, then I could be happy. Life is never good enough and there is hunger and need for more.
Silent symptoms are no satisfaction, little appreciation and always seeking for more to be content.
When we are in relationship with people who feel lacking, we may try to fill them up with compliments, reassurance, gifts and loving kindness. These are usually dismissed as being inadequate, false or merely ignored. The inner self has chosen a self portrait which it is unwilling to yield. The investment in a life of “poor me”, complaint and negativity is too ingrained to be released without the conscious awareness and full consent of the believer.
When we find this learned faulty thinking in ourselves, it is appropriate to accept responsibility for assuming that our parents were right in their beliefs and attitudes. It is appropriate to forgive the world and ourselves for believing in lack, unworthiness, and inadequacy. It is highest and best to affirm the perfection, the goodness and beauty in everyone including ourselves.
I forgive my negativity.
I forgive my belief in lack.
I forgive the false teachings in my childhood.
I forgive the limiting attitudes in my world.
I am open and willing to find a better way to live.
I am open to see my self with total love.
I affirm that I am Good.
I am whole and complete as I am.
I need prove nothing to my world.
I need do nothing to be whole.
I need have nothing more to be fulfilled.
As I release my faulty and limited thinking, I see myself as wholly adequate and worthy to be loved and successful in life.
I wholly appreciate my self and my Good life.
Heal negativity and inadequacy within,
Betty Lue
I have difficulty accessing email here, so be patient and know I will respond after August 31. If you need to give me a message, please call 800-919-2392.
Friday, August 22, 2003
Taking Responsibility is Healing
Whatever comes our way is a product of our relationship with Self. We learn as we experience. We get stuck as we judge our experiences. To forgive our judgments of our experiences is to free ourselves to choose again. When we see all things as lessons to learn, we will open our minds to utilize the experiences in life as worthy of our attention. When we trust that everything works together for Good, we seek and see the Goodness in everything. When we believe that everything is in our own best interest, we open to the value of everything as we experience it.
(Sometimes the value is to stop valuing what we no longer want.)
When we judge, deny or ignore what is happening in our lives, we may experience a more intense follow-up version. If one wakeup call doesn’t get our attention, the next one will. When I judge, I reinforce or strengthen what I am judging. When I bless, I reinforce or strengthen what I bless. When I am simply aware and learn from my awareness, I can release and let go. What I learn depends on my choice. What I experience depends on how I choose to perceive what I see or feel or know. With a loving perception, I experience love and goodness. With a fearful perception, I experience more to fear.
Taking responsibility for my experiences offers me the opportunity to choose more love or more fear. Taking responsibility opens my mind to choose to learn or to resist. Taking responsibility facilitates my forgiveness of any tendency to feel guilty or to blame others for my experience. Taking responsibility gives me the choice of how to perceive, learn and experience whatever happens in life. It is my consciousness for which I am responsible.
I am willing to be responsible for my life.
I am willing to be responsible for my learning.
I am willing to be responsible for my health.
I am willing to be responsible for my finances.
I am willing to be responsible for my relationships.
I am willing to be responsible.
In this, I find freedom and peace, as I trust my inner Authority and inner Voice or Spiritual Guidance to direct me.
I am loving you, Betty Lue
Call me at 800-919-2392 if you have need to speak with me.
(Sometimes the value is to stop valuing what we no longer want.)
When we judge, deny or ignore what is happening in our lives, we may experience a more intense follow-up version. If one wakeup call doesn’t get our attention, the next one will. When I judge, I reinforce or strengthen what I am judging. When I bless, I reinforce or strengthen what I bless. When I am simply aware and learn from my awareness, I can release and let go. What I learn depends on my choice. What I experience depends on how I choose to perceive what I see or feel or know. With a loving perception, I experience love and goodness. With a fearful perception, I experience more to fear.
Taking responsibility for my experiences offers me the opportunity to choose more love or more fear. Taking responsibility opens my mind to choose to learn or to resist. Taking responsibility facilitates my forgiveness of any tendency to feel guilty or to blame others for my experience. Taking responsibility gives me the choice of how to perceive, learn and experience whatever happens in life. It is my consciousness for which I am responsible.
I am willing to be responsible for my life.
I am willing to be responsible for my learning.
I am willing to be responsible for my health.
I am willing to be responsible for my finances.
I am willing to be responsible for my relationships.
I am willing to be responsible.
In this, I find freedom and peace, as I trust my inner Authority and inner Voice or Spiritual Guidance to direct me.
I am loving you, Betty Lue
Call me at 800-919-2392 if you have need to speak with me.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Inner Quest
What are we to heal?
Heal what is not Real.
Heal what is wounded.
Heal what is not of God.
Heal what is not love.
What is our True Identity?
You are the Presence of Love.
You are the gift of God.
You are the Holy Ones
You are the Light of the World.
What is our Purpose here?
Through forgiveness here,
You bring Light to darkness.
You bring Love to fear.
You bring Hope to the discouraged.
You bring Faith to those who are lost.
You are the Holy Presence of Goodness on Earth.
What is the Vision we are to hold?
See with the eyes of Love.
Behold the Goodness within each One.
Realize the call for Love, as you teach only Love.
Give All what you would receive and more.
Appreciate the beauty and blessing in every moment.
How are we to fulfill our Holy Purpose?
Free yourself from the world you see and trust God.
Be open and willing for inner direction.
Forgive all obstacles to peace and Love.
Extend God’s Peace and Love to everyone.
Success is the realization of the Light You Are and fully sharing the Love of God.
May You Be Fulfilled,
Betty Lue
This week in Hawaii has been a small group Inner Quest Retreat focused on Quest for Healing, Self, Purpose, Vision and Fulfillment. This Reminder is a small piece of what we are sharing together.
Heal what is not Real.
Heal what is wounded.
Heal what is not of God.
Heal what is not love.
What is our True Identity?
You are the Presence of Love.
You are the gift of God.
You are the Holy Ones
You are the Light of the World.
What is our Purpose here?
Through forgiveness here,
You bring Light to darkness.
You bring Love to fear.
You bring Hope to the discouraged.
You bring Faith to those who are lost.
You are the Holy Presence of Goodness on Earth.
What is the Vision we are to hold?
See with the eyes of Love.
Behold the Goodness within each One.
Realize the call for Love, as you teach only Love.
Give All what you would receive and more.
Appreciate the beauty and blessing in every moment.
How are we to fulfill our Holy Purpose?
Free yourself from the world you see and trust God.
Be open and willing for inner direction.
Forgive all obstacles to peace and Love.
Extend God’s Peace and Love to everyone.
Success is the realization of the Light You Are and fully sharing the Love of God.
May You Be Fulfilled,
Betty Lue
This week in Hawaii has been a small group Inner Quest Retreat focused on Quest for Healing, Self, Purpose, Vision and Fulfillment. This Reminder is a small piece of what we are sharing together.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Non-Judgment is Healing
Not judging is helpful and healthy. Awareness with non- judgment is healing. Awareness with peace of mind is healing. Awareness with Love is healing.
When we find ourselves judging, as most of our egoic or worldly training teaches us to do, we can notice opinions, beliefs, prejudices, comparisons, and negativity emerge. Wherever we judge we effect our physiology, emotions and mental functioning. Unconsciously, we have taken on the job of judging to defend, protect, make decisions, influence others and be “right”. The judging mind comes to believe its research and opinion is more right than God. We train ourselves that we can make decisions alone. We become certain that we know better than anyone.
Judgment contracts physiology and thinking. Judgment withholds energy and love. Judgment puts up blocks to the awareness of Love’s presence. Judgment blinds us to the call for love in others. Judgment weakens our courage and causes fear of being judged. Judgment shuts down flow of thinking and creativity, as well as body processes. Judgment takes energy rather than restores energy. Judgment weakens the immune system. Judgment limits possibilities and opportunities to see and be and have more. Judgment is the way in which we learn to protect ourselves from judgments, thus creating more evaluation and comparison. Judgment separates us from ourselves and from others. Judgment is the fastest way to hurt ourselves, mentally and emotionally. Thinking negative thoughts makes us unhappy, fearful, conflicted and tired. Judgments are arrogant in that we think we know what is right or best for others.
When you find yourself judging as is the learned function of the mind, breathe and let go. Say to yourself, “ My judgment means nothing.” Forgive yourself for judging. Have compassion for the part of you that learned to judge. Bless and be grateful for your awareness, as you easily and gently let go. Affirm: “I would rather be happy, than “right.” Look at the world from a bigger perspective to see you hold only one small piece of the whole picture. Tell yourself only God knows the whole Truth. “I choose peace instead of this.” Know you are judging because you are afraid. Choose Love rather than fear.
Judgments only have the power we give them. To make and hold a judgment limits our freedom and trust in ourselves, in others and in our lives. Judgment shuts down our capacity for Love. Fear binds us. Forgiveness sets us free.
Choosing awareness with non judgment and peace,
Betty Lue
When we find ourselves judging, as most of our egoic or worldly training teaches us to do, we can notice opinions, beliefs, prejudices, comparisons, and negativity emerge. Wherever we judge we effect our physiology, emotions and mental functioning. Unconsciously, we have taken on the job of judging to defend, protect, make decisions, influence others and be “right”. The judging mind comes to believe its research and opinion is more right than God. We train ourselves that we can make decisions alone. We become certain that we know better than anyone.
Judgment contracts physiology and thinking. Judgment withholds energy and love. Judgment puts up blocks to the awareness of Love’s presence. Judgment blinds us to the call for love in others. Judgment weakens our courage and causes fear of being judged. Judgment shuts down flow of thinking and creativity, as well as body processes. Judgment takes energy rather than restores energy. Judgment weakens the immune system. Judgment limits possibilities and opportunities to see and be and have more. Judgment is the way in which we learn to protect ourselves from judgments, thus creating more evaluation and comparison. Judgment separates us from ourselves and from others. Judgment is the fastest way to hurt ourselves, mentally and emotionally. Thinking negative thoughts makes us unhappy, fearful, conflicted and tired. Judgments are arrogant in that we think we know what is right or best for others.
When you find yourself judging as is the learned function of the mind, breathe and let go. Say to yourself, “ My judgment means nothing.” Forgive yourself for judging. Have compassion for the part of you that learned to judge. Bless and be grateful for your awareness, as you easily and gently let go. Affirm: “I would rather be happy, than “right.” Look at the world from a bigger perspective to see you hold only one small piece of the whole picture. Tell yourself only God knows the whole Truth. “I choose peace instead of this.” Know you are judging because you are afraid. Choose Love rather than fear.
Judgments only have the power we give them. To make and hold a judgment limits our freedom and trust in ourselves, in others and in our lives. Judgment shuts down our capacity for Love. Fear binds us. Forgiveness sets us free.
Choosing awareness with non judgment and peace,
Betty Lue
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Remembering Heals
What do you need to remember the Love you are?
Who do you need to remind you of the Truth?
How do you need to support you in being happy?
How much do you need to live at Peace in the world?
Leave behind the distractions, delays and detours to clear the way. Take time to pray, to reflect on God and Good each day in your own way. Remember to be grateful for who you are and what you have and do. Choose goals and priorities which are in alignment with your values. Relinquish all judgment and attack on anyone or anything…Do No Harm. Release your attachment to people and things. Be willing to let go of those who do not support you in the Highest Way. How can you lead others to remembering, if you are following them into forgetfulness?
Remember:
Your identity is Love.
Your goal is the Peace of God.
Your purpose is to be happy and free.
Your function is to forgive all obstacles.
Live in a state of remembering
And your Being is healed and whole.
Remembering with You,
Betty Lue
Call me at 800-919-2392 if you need anything. I am in Hawaii facilitating a retreat and writing the next two books, until September 1. I can easily call you on my cell phone, so don’t hesitate.
Who do you need to remind you of the Truth?
How do you need to support you in being happy?
How much do you need to live at Peace in the world?
Leave behind the distractions, delays and detours to clear the way. Take time to pray, to reflect on God and Good each day in your own way. Remember to be grateful for who you are and what you have and do. Choose goals and priorities which are in alignment with your values. Relinquish all judgment and attack on anyone or anything…Do No Harm. Release your attachment to people and things. Be willing to let go of those who do not support you in the Highest Way. How can you lead others to remembering, if you are following them into forgetfulness?
Remember:
Your identity is Love.
Your goal is the Peace of God.
Your purpose is to be happy and free.
Your function is to forgive all obstacles.
Live in a state of remembering
And your Being is healed and whole.
Remembering with You,
Betty Lue
Call me at 800-919-2392 if you need anything. I am in Hawaii facilitating a retreat and writing the next two books, until September 1. I can easily call you on my cell phone, so don’t hesitate.
Monday, August 18, 2003
What Needs Healing?
We are here to heal. This earthly life of embodiment and seeming separation from every thing is a space in which our relationships offer us the opportunity to see what needs to be healed within our consciousness. It appears that there are many physical healing needs related to illness, accident and death. However, there are emotional, mental, financial, relational healing needs as well. It now appears we need to heal our global pollution, our international relations, our economic inequities, our political and governmental systems. When we look around, we acknowledge there appear to be needs for healing everywhere. So all of us can be gainfully employed by the world to heal what we ourselves have made sick.
Are we here to heal our own miscreations?
Are we here to heal our lack of Love and faith in the original creation, which our Creator called ‘Good’? What happens when we name what we see ‘Good’? Could it be that forgiveness heals, because we erase the miscreation, mis-labeling and judgment in our minds and return to an innocent state in which we see the Good, the Whole and the Beautiful?
Consider this: The primary healing need is our separation from God and from the intrinsic Good which is our Essence and our True Identity. What we name, we claim. If we name evil, we claim evil. If we name death, there is death. When we name a disease, we have agreed upon disease. What we see and name, we claim to be a reality and our truth. We have learned to seek agreement for what we believe, and thus, we see what we believe to be.
What would it take for us to heal our minds?
What would it take to let go of our fear?
What could we do to release our guilt?
How can we be willing to let go of our miscreations and faulty perceptions?
How long will it take to be willing to see as God sees?
What must we do to enlighten our minds?
Are we willing to heal what is not real?
Loving you in this quest for healing.
Betty Lue
You can reach me at 800-919-2392 for your healing needs. You can reach me always in your prayer, in your heart, in your loving essence. I am there always with you, always loving you and seeing you whole and Holy!
Are we here to heal our own miscreations?
Are we here to heal our lack of Love and faith in the original creation, which our Creator called ‘Good’? What happens when we name what we see ‘Good’? Could it be that forgiveness heals, because we erase the miscreation, mis-labeling and judgment in our minds and return to an innocent state in which we see the Good, the Whole and the Beautiful?
Consider this: The primary healing need is our separation from God and from the intrinsic Good which is our Essence and our True Identity. What we name, we claim. If we name evil, we claim evil. If we name death, there is death. When we name a disease, we have agreed upon disease. What we see and name, we claim to be a reality and our truth. We have learned to seek agreement for what we believe, and thus, we see what we believe to be.
What would it take for us to heal our minds?
What would it take to let go of our fear?
What could we do to release our guilt?
How can we be willing to let go of our miscreations and faulty perceptions?
How long will it take to be willing to see as God sees?
What must we do to enlighten our minds?
Are we willing to heal what is not real?
Loving you in this quest for healing.
Betty Lue
You can reach me at 800-919-2392 for your healing needs. You can reach me always in your prayer, in your heart, in your loving essence. I am there always with you, always loving you and seeing you whole and Holy!
Sunday, August 17, 2003
Silence Heals
Listen to the silence,
Rich in every way.
Listen to the silence,
Peace through your day.
The healing power of silence is rich with “mind-fullness” as well as emptiness. In the quiet, there is opportunity
to tune in to a Higher Power, a place wherein all Wisdom, all Knowledge, all Love and all Happiness dwell.
In the silence, feelings can be healed. Talking about them often gets agreement from others and holds unwanted feelings in place. See, express and release your emotions with ease and blessing.
In the silence, the body can be heard and acknowledged. Awareness with love is healing. In everyday busyness, the body is often ignored to accomplish the mind’s requests.
In the silence, the mind can be clarified, acknowledged, erased and even enlightened. With constant filling of thoughts, ideas, worries, complaints, assignments, the mind becomes overloaded and over active. The mind short circuits and contracts. Silence allows the mind to heal, to clear and to rest.
In the silence, Communion with the Voice Within is possible, for outside communication is stilled. There is time and space to hear, to receive, to be with what is of Love, what is healing and Holy.
Listen to the Silence.
Silence heals you and sets you free to be.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Rich in every way.
Listen to the silence,
Peace through your day.
The healing power of silence is rich with “mind-fullness” as well as emptiness. In the quiet, there is opportunity
to tune in to a Higher Power, a place wherein all Wisdom, all Knowledge, all Love and all Happiness dwell.
In the silence, feelings can be healed. Talking about them often gets agreement from others and holds unwanted feelings in place. See, express and release your emotions with ease and blessing.
In the silence, the body can be heard and acknowledged. Awareness with love is healing. In everyday busyness, the body is often ignored to accomplish the mind’s requests.
In the silence, the mind can be clarified, acknowledged, erased and even enlightened. With constant filling of thoughts, ideas, worries, complaints, assignments, the mind becomes overloaded and over active. The mind short circuits and contracts. Silence allows the mind to heal, to clear and to rest.
In the silence, Communion with the Voice Within is possible, for outside communication is stilled. There is time and space to hear, to receive, to be with what is of Love, what is healing and Holy.
Listen to the Silence.
Silence heals you and sets you free to be.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Praising God -- August 16, 2003 Loving Reminders
Praising God is Good.
Praising Good is God.
The power of praising sets the mind in the direction of Good. The power of gratitude is seeking to look up, to receive, to enjoy, to take in and embrace that which is Highest and Best. Whenever we open our minds to seek and see the best, we have chosen to strengthen that within ourselves. Praising Good enhances the Good we praise in us and in all. There is value to the One giving the praise.
Perhaps giving praise to God and Good is totally for the purpose of changing the mind, the intention, attention and focus of the One praising. Perhaps the healing power of praise is simply to lift our eyes unto the hills and to open our hearts to song.
Those who praise with the fullness of Spirit know the healing power, the freedom, the joy of praise. Give praise and gratitude to All That Is and notice how praise enlightens the mind, lifts your emotions and energizes your body. Praise heals. Give full praise today.
Loving You with a heart that is True B’Lue.
Praising Good is God.
The power of praising sets the mind in the direction of Good. The power of gratitude is seeking to look up, to receive, to enjoy, to take in and embrace that which is Highest and Best. Whenever we open our minds to seek and see the best, we have chosen to strengthen that within ourselves. Praising Good enhances the Good we praise in us and in all. There is value to the One giving the praise.
Perhaps giving praise to God and Good is totally for the purpose of changing the mind, the intention, attention and focus of the One praising. Perhaps the healing power of praise is simply to lift our eyes unto the hills and to open our hearts to song.
Those who praise with the fullness of Spirit know the healing power, the freedom, the joy of praise. Give praise and gratitude to All That Is and notice how praise enlightens the mind, lifts your emotions and energizes your body. Praise heals. Give full praise today.
Loving You with a heart that is True B’Lue.
Friday, August 15, 2003
We Are Created to Create
Remember: While we are in Hawaii over the next two weeks, you can always reach me via pager #800-919-2392 and at my email address. check my lovingreminders.org for daily email reminders for you. I am always loving you, Betty Lue
August 15, 2003 Loving Reminders
On my birthday eve, I am reminded of the precious gift of life. All those people and events I have experienced have taught me, enriched me, nourished, me, enlightened me and fulfilled me. There is no greater source of learning than this physical life, where our relationships with everyone and everything teach us the unlimited power of creation.
We are creative beings created by an unlimited Creator. We are created to create. With Love in us, we choose to create unlimited Goodness, Wholeness and Beauty. This is our Calling and the Gift of our lives.
Wherever we have created what we judge to be mistakes, it is our responsibility to forgive, erase and let go.
This frees us to create anew. We are to forgive our guilt, our fear and our regret.
Wherever we judge our creations and fear our creativity, we limit ourselves and get stuck with our mistaken creations.
Forgive the past and create freely that which is Good for all, Healthy and Holy, Beautiful and Joyful .
Create fully. Create freely. Enjoy this awesome life as you create with every thought, work and activity.
We are on our way to Hawaii with a small group of retreat participants, and return on August 31 after spending another week in silence writing and renewing my Spirit.
Be sure to visit my new web site :Loving Reminders.org where I will put daily Loving reminders on for you.
Remember the NEW teal green Relationship Reminders books will be available in mid September for $15, include tax and postage.
I will be back in Pleasant Hill starting classes on Success and Essential Living on September 3.
Robert and I will be doing workshops in San Diego Sept. 13 and 14 and teaching T’ai Chi Chih at the AGNT Conference in Palm Springs Sept. 18-21. Be sure to join us if you can!!
Always Loving you, Betty Lue
August 15, 2003 Loving Reminders
On my birthday eve, I am reminded of the precious gift of life. All those people and events I have experienced have taught me, enriched me, nourished, me, enlightened me and fulfilled me. There is no greater source of learning than this physical life, where our relationships with everyone and everything teach us the unlimited power of creation.
We are creative beings created by an unlimited Creator. We are created to create. With Love in us, we choose to create unlimited Goodness, Wholeness and Beauty. This is our Calling and the Gift of our lives.
Wherever we have created what we judge to be mistakes, it is our responsibility to forgive, erase and let go.
This frees us to create anew. We are to forgive our guilt, our fear and our regret.
Wherever we judge our creations and fear our creativity, we limit ourselves and get stuck with our mistaken creations.
Forgive the past and create freely that which is Good for all, Healthy and Holy, Beautiful and Joyful .
Create fully. Create freely. Enjoy this awesome life as you create with every thought, work and activity.
We are on our way to Hawaii with a small group of retreat participants, and return on August 31 after spending another week in silence writing and renewing my Spirit.
Be sure to visit my new web site :Loving Reminders.org where I will put daily Loving reminders on for you.
Remember the NEW teal green Relationship Reminders books will be available in mid September for $15, include tax and postage.
I will be back in Pleasant Hill starting classes on Success and Essential Living on September 3.
Robert and I will be doing workshops in San Diego Sept. 13 and 14 and teaching T’ai Chi Chih at the AGNT Conference in Palm Springs Sept. 18-21. Be sure to join us if you can!!
Always Loving you, Betty Lue
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Looking Forward or Behind?
Where you look, there will you go.
Are you looking backward or looking forward?
When you drive, it is dangerous to always be looking in your rear view mirror or turning around to see where you have been. When you are hiking on a new path, it is not safe to be walking backwards or not paying attention to where you are headed. The holes in the road or pitfalls in life happen when we are not looking where we are going.
Life is an adventure into the unknown. Too many folks are busy basing their future on their past.
Too many are still exploring what went wrong twenty years ago.
Those who don’t forget their past are doomed to repeat it.
What we remember, we use to build our future.
We hold an image in our creative minds which becomes our experience.
What we dwell on, we strengthen in our lives. What we judge, we recreate.
It is essential that we stop walking back in time and start enjoying where we are now with full gratitude.
It is also imperative that we look forward to a future filled with our highest goals and vision.
To heal is to let the past go.
To heal is to forgive and release what was with blessing and gratitude.
To heal is to life in love, trust and freedom.
Explore, choose and enjoy what your create.
Let life teach you to be conscious and at choice.
Enjoying now,
Betty Lue
Are you looking backward or looking forward?
When you drive, it is dangerous to always be looking in your rear view mirror or turning around to see where you have been. When you are hiking on a new path, it is not safe to be walking backwards or not paying attention to where you are headed. The holes in the road or pitfalls in life happen when we are not looking where we are going.
Life is an adventure into the unknown. Too many folks are busy basing their future on their past.
Too many are still exploring what went wrong twenty years ago.
Those who don’t forget their past are doomed to repeat it.
What we remember, we use to build our future.
We hold an image in our creative minds which becomes our experience.
What we dwell on, we strengthen in our lives. What we judge, we recreate.
It is essential that we stop walking back in time and start enjoying where we are now with full gratitude.
It is also imperative that we look forward to a future filled with our highest goals and vision.
To heal is to let the past go.
To heal is to forgive and release what was with blessing and gratitude.
To heal is to life in love, trust and freedom.
Explore, choose and enjoy what your create.
Let life teach you to be conscious and at choice.
Enjoying now,
Betty Lue
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
My Primary Holy Relationship
I live what I am teaching..
Robert Waldon and I have been married and lives as spiritual partners for over 18 years.
Our focus is on loving unconditionally, serving from the heart and remembering God.
We live in healing, harmony and peace. This is our conscious choice. This is what we live.
Primary gifts of our relationship:
Willingness to heal all things.
Respect for one another and our life work.
Honoring our individual and joint purpose.
No arguments, anger or resentment.
Healing all guilt with forgiveness.
Treating ourselves with impeccable care.
Spending much silent time everyday.
Conscious quality time together in enjoyment.
Supporting one another’s life and livelihood.
Spiritualizing our relationship.
Giving All we Have to God.
Knowing All things work together for Good.
Practical reminders
Don’t criticize. Support one another.
Don’t be angry. Be forgiving of yourself.
Don’t complain. End each day in gratitude.
Don’t compete. Co-operate and co-create.
Don’t feel guilty. Forgive and choose again.
Don’t keep silent. Request help in healing.
Don’t stay separate. Take time to join in love.
Don’t forget to play. Take time to enjoy life.
Don’t assume. Be sure to communicate fully.
Don’t tale upsets personally. Listen with Love.
Remember Love and Return to Wholeness.
Robert Waldon and I have been married and lives as spiritual partners for over 18 years.
Our focus is on loving unconditionally, serving from the heart and remembering God.
We live in healing, harmony and peace. This is our conscious choice. This is what we live.
Primary gifts of our relationship:
Willingness to heal all things.
Respect for one another and our life work.
Honoring our individual and joint purpose.
No arguments, anger or resentment.
Healing all guilt with forgiveness.
Treating ourselves with impeccable care.
Spending much silent time everyday.
Conscious quality time together in enjoyment.
Supporting one another’s life and livelihood.
Spiritualizing our relationship.
Giving All we Have to God.
Knowing All things work together for Good.
Practical reminders
Don’t criticize. Support one another.
Don’t be angry. Be forgiving of yourself.
Don’t complain. End each day in gratitude.
Don’t compete. Co-operate and co-create.
Don’t feel guilty. Forgive and choose again.
Don’t keep silent. Request help in healing.
Don’t stay separate. Take time to join in love.
Don’t forget to play. Take time to enjoy life.
Don’t assume. Be sure to communicate fully.
Don’t tale upsets personally. Listen with Love.
Remember Love and Return to Wholeness.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
You Are Enough
Never good enough?
Always needing to do more,
Always needing to be more,
Always to have more?
There is a pervasive cultural belief that we are never enough. From our childhood we may have received the message, implied or overt, that our Being was not enough to satisfy, to please, to win approval, to be loved by those important in our lives.
When we look to people whose beliefs are limited, lacking and belittling, we learn from their thoughts, words and behavior that they are not and we are not enough. There is always more to do, more to prove, more to achieve, more to earn, more to win, more to get, more to enjoy, more to learn, more….more….more..
What would happen to our ambition and our perfecting, if we knew we are enough.
What would happen to our trying and our achieving, if we knew we have enough?
What would happen to our initiative and our creativity, if we knew we were safe and healed and loved?
You are enough.
You do enough.
You have enough.
Knowing this.........
Now what how do you want to play?
What do you really want to create?
How do you want to spend your day?
Loving you always,
Betty Lue
Always needing to do more,
Always needing to be more,
Always to have more?
There is a pervasive cultural belief that we are never enough. From our childhood we may have received the message, implied or overt, that our Being was not enough to satisfy, to please, to win approval, to be loved by those important in our lives.
When we look to people whose beliefs are limited, lacking and belittling, we learn from their thoughts, words and behavior that they are not and we are not enough. There is always more to do, more to prove, more to achieve, more to earn, more to win, more to get, more to enjoy, more to learn, more….more….more..
What would happen to our ambition and our perfecting, if we knew we are enough.
What would happen to our trying and our achieving, if we knew we have enough?
What would happen to our initiative and our creativity, if we knew we were safe and healed and loved?
You are enough.
You do enough.
You have enough.
Knowing this.........
Now what how do you want to play?
What do you really want to create?
How do you want to spend your day?
Loving you always,
Betty Lue
Monday, August 11, 2003
Written for You
Yes, this is written for you. These Loving Reminders are written for you personally, because your are deeply and profoundly loved. You matter to God and you matter to me. Every time your soul is touched, I am reaching out to you. Every time you learn something new, I am learning and teaching with you. Every time your heart opens, I am loving you. Every time you remember what is true for you, I am reminding you and me. So take each one personally.
I am part of you and you are part of me. We do not live in this world separately. Even though it appears we are not together, there is nothing we do that is done in secret and alone. We are all part of one beautiful bountiful relationship. We are like puppies in a nest suckling at the breast of God. We all have equal access to the full spiritual nourishment. We are each perfectly and abundantly loved.
As you erase resistance, fear and self judgment, you open to receive, As you let go of doubt, avoidance and separation, you open to believe. As you let go of resentment, blame and hurt, you are willing to truly know. God loves you and God loves me and together we will show this Love one for All and All for One. This is our Holy task, to release the blocks that separate and allow the doubts to pass. Believe in Love. Receive the Love. Conceive the Love and Achieve in Love. Love is the only Way. Give love to all and to yourself. Love is our Holy Play. I am love you, Always, True B’Lue
I am part of you and you are part of me. We do not live in this world separately. Even though it appears we are not together, there is nothing we do that is done in secret and alone. We are all part of one beautiful bountiful relationship. We are like puppies in a nest suckling at the breast of God. We all have equal access to the full spiritual nourishment. We are each perfectly and abundantly loved.
As you erase resistance, fear and self judgment, you open to receive, As you let go of doubt, avoidance and separation, you open to believe. As you let go of resentment, blame and hurt, you are willing to truly know. God loves you and God loves me and together we will show this Love one for All and All for One. This is our Holy task, to release the blocks that separate and allow the doubts to pass. Believe in Love. Receive the Love. Conceive the Love and Achieve in Love. Love is the only Way. Give love to all and to yourself. Love is our Holy Play. I am love you, Always, True B’Lue
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Emotional Pain
Our emotional pain is not caused by another’s behavior or words, it is caused by our interpretation and reaction to the other. When we have the mistaken belief that others cause our pain, we believe and experience pain from words of unkindness, carelessness, forgetfulness, blame, fear and woundedness. When we hear another’s lack of Love, we interpret their problem as being our fault. We feels blamed and hurt, guilty and frightened of being rejected and abandoned. When we have learned in childhood that we are responsible for our parents unhappiness, we imagine the same to be true with other loved ones who are expressing or demonstrating their unhappiness. Our mind will interpret all expressions of lack of love with our being at fault.
The deeper healing is to forgive ourselves for not remembering to respond with love. Our healing is to forgive ourselves for being hurt or frightened. Our healing is to give our very Best self. Our healing is to listen unconditionally with peace and Love in our hearts. Our healing is to let the poison go and extend Love. Our healing is to be at peace. Our healing is to not make assumptions about what is needed. Our healing is to not take on another’s pain. Our healing is to let go and Love again.
When another is hurting and sharing angry or unloving words:
Fill your mind with forgiveness and Love.
Acknowledge your willingness to be present.
Extend the Love you are.
Trust the loved one to heal from within.
Give your faith and Confidence in Love.
Love never fails.
Betty Lue
The deeper healing is to forgive ourselves for not remembering to respond with love. Our healing is to forgive ourselves for being hurt or frightened. Our healing is to give our very Best self. Our healing is to listen unconditionally with peace and Love in our hearts. Our healing is to let the poison go and extend Love. Our healing is to be at peace. Our healing is to not make assumptions about what is needed. Our healing is to not take on another’s pain. Our healing is to let go and Love again.
When another is hurting and sharing angry or unloving words:
Fill your mind with forgiveness and Love.
Acknowledge your willingness to be present.
Extend the Love you are.
Trust the loved one to heal from within.
Give your faith and Confidence in Love.
Love never fails.
Betty Lue
Saturday, August 09, 2003
Gossip
Do you ever talk about your partner or spouse?
Do you talk about your children?
Do you talk about neighbors or friends?
Do you talk about celebrities?
This is gossiping.
Talking about others, rather than with others is gossip.
When people have nothing to share, they often speak about others’ business, romance, personalities, accomplishments, tragedies, and problems. It seems a harmless way to share conversation, almost trivia. Each thought we have and word we speak is a form of affirmation or agreement. Our words teach. Our thoughts and words have power. Our judgments are transmitted. Our criticism sends out our lack of forgiveness and Love. Our messages are received by ourselves, by the one with whom we are sharing and telepathically by the one we are gossiping about. If we are gossiping about someone, we will fear that others gossip about us. If we are sending negative messages and getting agreement, we are supporting the negatives we are sharing. Literally all thoughts and words and behavior teach. They have a powerful effect. Also gossiping will create separation, guilt, and fear between us and the one being talked about. Rather than heal, gossip wounds. Rather than bind, gossip divides.
To share about our relationships with others in a healing way, we must set the intention to heal, seek out a listener who is a healing presence, a spiritual counselor or therapist who honors the power of forgiveness, visualization and prayer. We must acknowledge that we cannot change or correct another, but can create an environment in which others feel safe to heal and learn and grow.
No more gossip please.
It is not helpful to you or to others.
And if you find you have nothing to talk about, simply be silent.
Do you talk about your children?
Do you talk about neighbors or friends?
Do you talk about celebrities?
This is gossiping.
Talking about others, rather than with others is gossip.
When people have nothing to share, they often speak about others’ business, romance, personalities, accomplishments, tragedies, and problems. It seems a harmless way to share conversation, almost trivia. Each thought we have and word we speak is a form of affirmation or agreement. Our words teach. Our thoughts and words have power. Our judgments are transmitted. Our criticism sends out our lack of forgiveness and Love. Our messages are received by ourselves, by the one with whom we are sharing and telepathically by the one we are gossiping about. If we are gossiping about someone, we will fear that others gossip about us. If we are sending negative messages and getting agreement, we are supporting the negatives we are sharing. Literally all thoughts and words and behavior teach. They have a powerful effect. Also gossiping will create separation, guilt, and fear between us and the one being talked about. Rather than heal, gossip wounds. Rather than bind, gossip divides.
To share about our relationships with others in a healing way, we must set the intention to heal, seek out a listener who is a healing presence, a spiritual counselor or therapist who honors the power of forgiveness, visualization and prayer. We must acknowledge that we cannot change or correct another, but can create an environment in which others feel safe to heal and learn and grow.
No more gossip please.
It is not helpful to you or to others.
And if you find you have nothing to talk about, simply be silent.
Friday, August 08, 2003
Maintaining Our Peace
When another has a need to emote, to blame, to make you feel wrong or guilty, how do you maintain your peace and love.? How do you respect yourself, when another is accusing or attacking you?
First, learn to ask for timeouts when you have a need.
If there is an opportunity to take a cooling off break, do.
Go to the bathroom and breathe.
Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your peaceful and loving core.
Take nothing personally.
Do not eat the poison or venom that is being offered.
Clear your fear and tell yourself no one will be harmed.
In your mind, keep forgiving and blessing yourself and the other.
Ask for spiritual help and guidance.
Stay conscious and aware.
Do not defend or attack back.
Let each negative thing go with “Thank you for telling me” or "Thanks for sharing”.
Know the other trusts you enough to share their pain.
The other person wants and needs your forgiveness.
No matter how it sounds, do not take on responsibility or guilt for causing them pain, unless you had the intention to hurt them. If so, forgive yourself.
Keep focused on the healing, the peaceful outcome, the end of suffering, and how to resolve the conflict easily and fairly.
When both parties want no fighting, there will be none.
When both parties, want peace, there will be peace.
When both parties respect themselves and each other, there will be respect.
When both parties, are conscious, there will be conscious responsibility.
When both parties are willing to own their own spiritual growth, they will not dump on one another.
When both parties are open to peace, they will find forgiveness and peace within themselves.
Our emotional pain is not caused by another’s behavior or words, it is caused by our interpretation and reaction to the other.
Blessing you with release, Betty Lue
First, learn to ask for timeouts when you have a need.
If there is an opportunity to take a cooling off break, do.
Go to the bathroom and breathe.
Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your peaceful and loving core.
Take nothing personally.
Do not eat the poison or venom that is being offered.
Clear your fear and tell yourself no one will be harmed.
In your mind, keep forgiving and blessing yourself and the other.
Ask for spiritual help and guidance.
Stay conscious and aware.
Do not defend or attack back.
Let each negative thing go with “Thank you for telling me” or "Thanks for sharing”.
Know the other trusts you enough to share their pain.
The other person wants and needs your forgiveness.
No matter how it sounds, do not take on responsibility or guilt for causing them pain, unless you had the intention to hurt them. If so, forgive yourself.
Keep focused on the healing, the peaceful outcome, the end of suffering, and how to resolve the conflict easily and fairly.
When both parties want no fighting, there will be none.
When both parties, want peace, there will be peace.
When both parties respect themselves and each other, there will be respect.
When both parties, are conscious, there will be conscious responsibility.
When both parties are willing to own their own spiritual growth, they will not dump on one another.
When both parties are open to peace, they will find forgiveness and peace within themselves.
Our emotional pain is not caused by another’s behavior or words, it is caused by our interpretation and reaction to the other.
Blessing you with release, Betty Lue
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Your Feelings are Yours
All upsets are past similars. You are never upset about what appears to be the issue, but rather an earlier experience which was never resolved, healed or understood. Being upset is an indication that you are off purpose. Being upset is a wakeup call to see where you have forgotten your essence. Or you have lost your focus and have become a “victim” of the world you see. Being hurt is an indication that you have taken another’r conscious or unconscious behavior or words personally. Other's upsets and anger are not about you, but rather anger with or within themselves. Being offended is an indication that you have a button, a place of vulnerability, that is calling for your compassion and healing.
When you are upset, it is helpful to stop, notice and give positive attention to how to clear your upset. Just as a conscious parent would do for a child. Take time alone. Ask yourself, "What is upsetting you? What is it that you want? How can I support you in finding your center and your purpose again?"
You may need time to sit and listen and write your feelings. You want to be listened to, not defended against, to be able to get to the bottom. To express your feelings to the one who may have pushed your buttons will not yield neutral listening, so go be alone and write. You will find at the bottom of all upsets are historical patterns of reading other’s anger or withdrawal or impatience, or lateness or …. as your fault. You will find your mind making up…”I am wrong…I am not enough.…I never get the love I want.”.etc.
After hearing your own upsetting thoughts.
Ask yourself what you need to heal and clear those thoughts and feelings.
Offer forgiveness.
Ask to see it all differently.
Ask to see from the other’s perspective.
Ask to let go and love again.
Ask to release your sensitivity and emotional button.
Ask to be the conscious one and learn from the experience.
Forgive yourself for letting anyone or anything hurt you.
You may wish to return to the other and share with them your personal healing process.
It is always valuable to thank them for pushing your button or upsetting you, to let you know what inside you needed healing. You will feel grateful to them when you have done the inner healing work.
Be Aware: You will continue to feel anger, hurt and resentment until you do the inner work to help and heal yourself.
Blessing us all with healing and inner peace.
Betty Lue
When you are upset, it is helpful to stop, notice and give positive attention to how to clear your upset. Just as a conscious parent would do for a child. Take time alone. Ask yourself, "What is upsetting you? What is it that you want? How can I support you in finding your center and your purpose again?"
You may need time to sit and listen and write your feelings. You want to be listened to, not defended against, to be able to get to the bottom. To express your feelings to the one who may have pushed your buttons will not yield neutral listening, so go be alone and write. You will find at the bottom of all upsets are historical patterns of reading other’s anger or withdrawal or impatience, or lateness or …. as your fault. You will find your mind making up…”I am wrong…I am not enough.…I never get the love I want.”.etc.
After hearing your own upsetting thoughts.
Ask yourself what you need to heal and clear those thoughts and feelings.
Offer forgiveness.
Ask to see it all differently.
Ask to see from the other’s perspective.
Ask to let go and love again.
Ask to release your sensitivity and emotional button.
Ask to be the conscious one and learn from the experience.
Forgive yourself for letting anyone or anything hurt you.
You may wish to return to the other and share with them your personal healing process.
It is always valuable to thank them for pushing your button or upsetting you, to let you know what inside you needed healing. You will feel grateful to them when you have done the inner healing work.
Be Aware: You will continue to feel anger, hurt and resentment until you do the inner work to help and heal yourself.
Blessing us all with healing and inner peace.
Betty Lue
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Fighting and Arguing
Arguments or fights usually begin with one person seeking to be right and to making the other wrong. The person bringing up the issue wants the other to take responsibility, to be wrong, to change their behavior or attitude or to feel hurt, too. The initiator usually brings up the issue at a “bad” time, is overwrought with emotion and intends to share their feelings no matter what the other wants. The feelings are often shared in an accusatory or insulting tone which invites the other person to feel guilty and responsible for the problem. The intention is to win and make sure the other guy loses. The ego is most interested in being right, not in being happy or coming to peace. Spirit is always looking for a peaceful resolution in which both are benefited.
When caught up in emotion, the fighter says and does things which are unkind, disrespectful, hurtful and unconscious.
“If I am going to hurt, I will hurt you, too.”Most fighters don’t realize that the hurt is a product of their hurtful thinking.
They make up painful stories or possibilities and then replay them in their own minds until they are wounded and resentful and justified in hurting the other.
Usually the argument has no rules and is a contest to see who can hurt the other the most. It is often clever, vicious, manipulative and seductive. When one person wants to fight to “clear the air”, they use the buttons they know to involve the other person. If ignored they often become mad and offensive about the other being emotionally unavailable. People who are good with words, often use them as a source of power. People who are clever and controlling often use arguments to put the other in their place or teach a lesson or try to get what they want.
Fights and arguments are “no-win” situations. Neither person is left with their self respect and dignity.
There is often a leftover mess which is ignored, buried and festers, sometimes for years.
People who like to fight have learned from their childhood, the power of words. They may actually see arguing as a form of loving and look for the opportunities to "make up. For some fights are tension relievers, similar to the tension release of sexual encounters. We attract to ourselves and create what we are accustomed to and what works for us. when we have grown beyond ineffective or negative behaviors, we forgive and choose again.
Fighting is a useless and energy-draining form of relating. Fights and arguments distract, detour and delay us from finding the source of pain within. Wherever we are blaming, angry or resentful of another, there is always a past source of pain or woundedness that we must access and heal within ourselves. There is a better way.
Let go and Love again, Make amends.
Betty Lue
When caught up in emotion, the fighter says and does things which are unkind, disrespectful, hurtful and unconscious.
“If I am going to hurt, I will hurt you, too.”Most fighters don’t realize that the hurt is a product of their hurtful thinking.
They make up painful stories or possibilities and then replay them in their own minds until they are wounded and resentful and justified in hurting the other.
Usually the argument has no rules and is a contest to see who can hurt the other the most. It is often clever, vicious, manipulative and seductive. When one person wants to fight to “clear the air”, they use the buttons they know to involve the other person. If ignored they often become mad and offensive about the other being emotionally unavailable. People who are good with words, often use them as a source of power. People who are clever and controlling often use arguments to put the other in their place or teach a lesson or try to get what they want.
Fights and arguments are “no-win” situations. Neither person is left with their self respect and dignity.
There is often a leftover mess which is ignored, buried and festers, sometimes for years.
People who like to fight have learned from their childhood, the power of words. They may actually see arguing as a form of loving and look for the opportunities to "make up. For some fights are tension relievers, similar to the tension release of sexual encounters. We attract to ourselves and create what we are accustomed to and what works for us. when we have grown beyond ineffective or negative behaviors, we forgive and choose again.
Fighting is a useless and energy-draining form of relating. Fights and arguments distract, detour and delay us from finding the source of pain within. Wherever we are blaming, angry or resentful of another, there is always a past source of pain or woundedness that we must access and heal within ourselves. There is a better way.
Let go and Love again, Make amends.
Betty Lue
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Suggestions for Intimate Sharing
If you want to share with a partner or friend, decide the outcome you seek….peaceful, helpful, happy, safe, accepting.
Ask for their time and get permission to share.
Be respectful of their needs to rest, to eat, to handle their own agenda.
Declare your need to speak.
Ask specifically for what you want. “I have some problems or leftover feelings I want to share with you. Is now a good time or is there a better time and place?”
Be open to their response.
Support their needs as well as your own.
A listener is better, when they are prepared and fully available.
Don’t ask for something the other cannot or does not want to give.
Choose a time and place that is private.
Ask for their listening without comment, or ask for their advice…or ask for them to tell you their side of the story or ask for them to first hear you out and then respond.
Request their agreement. “Are you willing? Is that OK with you?”
When you share, make sure you do it from your perspective.
No blaming or finger pointing. No attack, No accusing them of deceiving you or hurting you.
Simply “I feel…I want…. I am willing to do …to have what I want….”
Ie. “I feel hurt when you arrive home later than you told me for dinner, because it brings up my issues with being taken for granted and not good enough. I want to know I am loved and respected by you. I am willing to ask you specifically for a phone call, when you are leaving the office. I will forgive myself for my feelings of being not good enough.”
When you are complete with your sharing, give the other an opportunity to share without interruption.
Know if you are sharing something you want from them, they may feel hurt and guilty.
To increase the chance of their wanting to take responsibility and make behavioral changes, you need to be totally understanding and helpful at this point to encourage them. If you continue to let them know how bad you are feeling, it is more likely they will feel guilty, hurt and blame you. Or they will feel guilty and hurt and withdraw love and attention from you…..to heal their wounds.
If you want a win/ win solution, it is essential that you take the time to clear or heal your own past history first. The other person can feel the dump and is ill-prepared to clear it all. They feel attacked and sabotaged. To pour more than today’s issue on someone is to let them know you stockpile resentment. To bring up past history is to declare you are unforgiving. To keep putting out your feelings, when the other cannot respond with compassion is to build resentment and fear in your communication. To try to get an apology or behavior change from the other is to say they are “wrong” and try to correct them. This feels belittling and will yield unfulfilling results.
Stop yourself, the moment you see the conversation is going awry. When you are not creating the result of more love and compassion, you have erred. Stop. Look at what just happened. Take a break. Go be alone. Listen inside and write down what you hear. “What is making me upset is….What I can do to become happy and peaceful again is….What I am trying to heal from my childhood is……How I can most easily heal and clear this pain is ….”
Heal from within. Then share your learning and healing success with the other. You will build confidence, compassion, freedom of expression and Love.
This is part of my new book to be published this month. Relationships Reminders.
Hope you like it and it blesses your life.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Ask for their time and get permission to share.
Be respectful of their needs to rest, to eat, to handle their own agenda.
Declare your need to speak.
Ask specifically for what you want. “I have some problems or leftover feelings I want to share with you. Is now a good time or is there a better time and place?”
Be open to their response.
Support their needs as well as your own.
A listener is better, when they are prepared and fully available.
Don’t ask for something the other cannot or does not want to give.
Choose a time and place that is private.
Ask for their listening without comment, or ask for their advice…or ask for them to tell you their side of the story or ask for them to first hear you out and then respond.
Request their agreement. “Are you willing? Is that OK with you?”
When you share, make sure you do it from your perspective.
No blaming or finger pointing. No attack, No accusing them of deceiving you or hurting you.
Simply “I feel…I want…. I am willing to do …to have what I want….”
Ie. “I feel hurt when you arrive home later than you told me for dinner, because it brings up my issues with being taken for granted and not good enough. I want to know I am loved and respected by you. I am willing to ask you specifically for a phone call, when you are leaving the office. I will forgive myself for my feelings of being not good enough.”
When you are complete with your sharing, give the other an opportunity to share without interruption.
Know if you are sharing something you want from them, they may feel hurt and guilty.
To increase the chance of their wanting to take responsibility and make behavioral changes, you need to be totally understanding and helpful at this point to encourage them. If you continue to let them know how bad you are feeling, it is more likely they will feel guilty, hurt and blame you. Or they will feel guilty and hurt and withdraw love and attention from you…..to heal their wounds.
If you want a win/ win solution, it is essential that you take the time to clear or heal your own past history first. The other person can feel the dump and is ill-prepared to clear it all. They feel attacked and sabotaged. To pour more than today’s issue on someone is to let them know you stockpile resentment. To bring up past history is to declare you are unforgiving. To keep putting out your feelings, when the other cannot respond with compassion is to build resentment and fear in your communication. To try to get an apology or behavior change from the other is to say they are “wrong” and try to correct them. This feels belittling and will yield unfulfilling results.
Stop yourself, the moment you see the conversation is going awry. When you are not creating the result of more love and compassion, you have erred. Stop. Look at what just happened. Take a break. Go be alone. Listen inside and write down what you hear. “What is making me upset is….What I can do to become happy and peaceful again is….What I am trying to heal from my childhood is……How I can most easily heal and clear this pain is ….”
Heal from within. Then share your learning and healing success with the other. You will build confidence, compassion, freedom of expression and Love.
This is part of my new book to be published this month. Relationships Reminders.
Hope you like it and it blesses your life.
Loving you, Betty Lue
Monday, August 04, 2003
Relationships on Purpose
There are no accidents in those relationships we attract into our lives. Especially when there are challenges or difficulties in relating, we must remember that there is valuable learning and healing potential in every relationship.
Challenging relationships offer lessons in patience, acceptance, forgiveness and trust.
They teach us how to be strong in our commitment to love no matter what.
Within them we can strengthen our willingness to love as God loves, without condition and never quitting on Love.
People with whom we have difficulty often represent a part of ourselves.
They may be ourselves as we used to be in the recent or distant past—hurting, sensitive, depressed, angry, fearful, unaware.
Or they may be parts of our personality that we judge and try not to admit.
With others and with ourselves we are healing our tendency to criticize, blame, fear, resist, ignore, withhold love and allow to upset us.
With ourselves and others we are learning to offer comfort, reassurance, loving reminders, a helping hand, forgiveness and unconditional Love.
All relationships are to help us heal our past and learn to remember to Love.
Extending Love to All,
Betty Lue
Challenging relationships offer lessons in patience, acceptance, forgiveness and trust.
They teach us how to be strong in our commitment to love no matter what.
Within them we can strengthen our willingness to love as God loves, without condition and never quitting on Love.
People with whom we have difficulty often represent a part of ourselves.
They may be ourselves as we used to be in the recent or distant past—hurting, sensitive, depressed, angry, fearful, unaware.
Or they may be parts of our personality that we judge and try not to admit.
With others and with ourselves we are healing our tendency to criticize, blame, fear, resist, ignore, withhold love and allow to upset us.
With ourselves and others we are learning to offer comfort, reassurance, loving reminders, a helping hand, forgiveness and unconditional Love.
All relationships are to help us heal our past and learn to remember to Love.
Extending Love to All,
Betty Lue
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Cooperation
How do we learn to cooperate with others?
Only when fulfilled, are we be fully present.
Only when satisfied, do we deeply care.
Only when truly on purpose, do we really share.
Only when loving ourselves. do we know unconditional love for another.
Only when trusting our inner answers. do we trust another’s path.
Only when honoring Spirit within us, do we have real faith.
Only when living in integrity. do we stand in confidence.
Only when walking our talk, do we speak with conviction.
Only when following our dreams, do we inspire others.
Only when we live in harmony and peace, do we create peace with others.
Only when we know we are deeply and profoundly loved, are we be truly happy.
Only when we give ourselves permission to explore, do we feel totally free.
Only when we treat ourselves with the best care, are we be healthy on all levels.
Only when we are happy, healthy and free, do we teach others to be happy, healthy and free.
Only when we know we are a winner, do we treat others as winners, too.
Loving me is loving you.
Support yourself in loving you today.
Betty Lue
Only when fulfilled, are we be fully present.
Only when satisfied, do we deeply care.
Only when truly on purpose, do we really share.
Only when loving ourselves. do we know unconditional love for another.
Only when trusting our inner answers. do we trust another’s path.
Only when honoring Spirit within us, do we have real faith.
Only when living in integrity. do we stand in confidence.
Only when walking our talk, do we speak with conviction.
Only when following our dreams, do we inspire others.
Only when we live in harmony and peace, do we create peace with others.
Only when we know we are deeply and profoundly loved, are we be truly happy.
Only when we give ourselves permission to explore, do we feel totally free.
Only when we treat ourselves with the best care, are we be healthy on all levels.
Only when we are happy, healthy and free, do we teach others to be happy, healthy and free.
Only when we know we are a winner, do we treat others as winners, too.
Loving me is loving you.
Support yourself in loving you today.
Betty Lue
Saturday, August 02, 2003
Honor and Respect in Relationship
How do men and women honor themselves and one another in relationship?
How do we be true to ourselves and our path and purpose and maintain love and respect for our partner?
I have observed, as a relationship and communication specialist and therapist, that individuals give up their own path and purpose in order to sustain their relationship. Both parties often forsake their own identity in order to keep their partner happy or at least prevent them from being angry or sad.
As children they learn to do whatever parents want in order to sustain their love and nurturence, rather than incur the parent's anger and punishment. If neither person is fulfilled, happy and on purpose, it is difficult to be happy with one’s partner.
When there are differences in lifestyle preferences, communication styles, best hours to work and rest, preferred diets, ways to spend and save money, etc., there is often compromise which jeopardizes the integrity of both individuals. The key is to discover, express and honor the differences. Learn from one another. Seek areas of agreement. Appreciate the differences and enjoy the similarities.
Remember: if one is sacrificing oneself to keep the other happy, there is lack of integrity in the fabric of the relationship.
If one is sacrificing one’s identity and compromising one’s preferences, there may be a buildup of overt resentment, covert hostility or resentment, or withheld emotions and depression. These are signs of unhealthy compromise.
“If I give up me to keep you happy, why don’t you sacrifice to keep me happy?”
Honesty works only if there is a commitment to love no matter what.
“How can I be honest with you if I believe you will leave me?”
Something to ponder, forgive, and choose again.
Betty Lue
How do we be true to ourselves and our path and purpose and maintain love and respect for our partner?
I have observed, as a relationship and communication specialist and therapist, that individuals give up their own path and purpose in order to sustain their relationship. Both parties often forsake their own identity in order to keep their partner happy or at least prevent them from being angry or sad.
As children they learn to do whatever parents want in order to sustain their love and nurturence, rather than incur the parent's anger and punishment. If neither person is fulfilled, happy and on purpose, it is difficult to be happy with one’s partner.
When there are differences in lifestyle preferences, communication styles, best hours to work and rest, preferred diets, ways to spend and save money, etc., there is often compromise which jeopardizes the integrity of both individuals. The key is to discover, express and honor the differences. Learn from one another. Seek areas of agreement. Appreciate the differences and enjoy the similarities.
Remember: if one is sacrificing oneself to keep the other happy, there is lack of integrity in the fabric of the relationship.
If one is sacrificing one’s identity and compromising one’s preferences, there may be a buildup of overt resentment, covert hostility or resentment, or withheld emotions and depression. These are signs of unhealthy compromise.
“If I give up me to keep you happy, why don’t you sacrifice to keep me happy?”
Honesty works only if there is a commitment to love no matter what.
“How can I be honest with you if I believe you will leave me?”
Something to ponder, forgive, and choose again.
Betty Lue
Friday, August 01, 2003
Love is my Employer. Spirit is my Boss.
Those I serve are the customers, the ones who pay my “salary”. I must honor the mission of my employer and the direction of my boss. I am given provision by those I serve. Solely that I might serve more. The commission is the joy I receive from giving my very Best to everyone in all circumstances. I am “on call” for Love 24 hours a day and 7 days/week My outreach includes these Loving Reminders, email correspondence, counseling and coaching appointments, groups, classes and workshops, travels to others states. My work includes my home and family, my impeccable self care, my inspirational time, my swimming and walking and thanking God, my food preparation, my travel time. I am serving Love, my Employer every moment. I am honoring my Boss, whenever I am serving Love. All forms of provision, whether tithes or gifts, praise or payment, contribution or caring, are my salary to care for my family’s needs. This is my business here in the world.
Who is your Employer? Who is your Boss?
Who do you listen to for direction each day?
Whom do you serve and How do you serve?
When you are giving your very Best, how do you feel?
Whether employed in the worldly way, a self-employed contractor with customers, or a life as a “volunteer” or minister of Good, you have a spiritual calling. There is a spiritual employer and boss who are providing for you and applauding your Good works. Let yourself look at you “jo” differently. Seek ways to bring more spirit into housecleaning and washing the car. Seek satisfaction in giving your best toe everyone you meet or think of. Seek paths of love and harmony with even those who are difficult or different than you. You have a purpose wherever you work. Listen to your inner Boss and trust.
Trust in our sacred contract with Love,
Betty Lue
Who is your Employer? Who is your Boss?
Who do you listen to for direction each day?
Whom do you serve and How do you serve?
When you are giving your very Best, how do you feel?
Whether employed in the worldly way, a self-employed contractor with customers, or a life as a “volunteer” or minister of Good, you have a spiritual calling. There is a spiritual employer and boss who are providing for you and applauding your Good works. Let yourself look at you “jo” differently. Seek ways to bring more spirit into housecleaning and washing the car. Seek satisfaction in giving your best toe everyone you meet or think of. Seek paths of love and harmony with even those who are difficult or different than you. You have a purpose wherever you work. Listen to your inner Boss and trust.
Trust in our sacred contract with Love,
Betty Lue