Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Listening and Loving the Young 

Every person well-listened to and loved will blossom into the being they are called to be.

When we take the time to listen, we demonstrate we care.
We demonstrate we value the thoughts and feelings, the hopes and dreams of the one we are giving our undivided attention to.
I prefer to listen with no distractions, no TV, no phone, no other people, no outside conversation, just listening.
I prefer to set a time, to make an appointment for the other.
I prefer to give my whole being to the listening.
I prefer to listen with my heart and not my head, to listen with love rather than with judgment.
I prefer to state my boundaries, how long I have to be present.
I prefer to say and show I care with my face, with my words, with my touch.
I prefer to tell the other directly how much their happiness and well-being mean to me.
I prefer to end the conversation with an acknowledgment of feeling good about the intimacy and sharing.

If the young one knows what they want, trust and support their choices.
Our kids develop self doubt because adults (who don’t really know what they want) question and doubt their kids in struggling to find our what is best for them.
If you are fearful of their choice, state your concerns one time, then gather information from all sides and share.
Be there to listen. Invite in a consultant who is objective. And always LOVE

Our young people are often scared, lost and feeling non-supported.
Money seems to be the way they think they can get what they want.
(We taught them money comes first by our lifestyle choices.)
We as parents pass on our confusion and internal tension to our kids.
They act out our unexpressed conflicts, angers and fears.
They are mirrors for us. We must clean our own mirror.

If the young one does not know what they want, if they are confused, how can you help?
Ask helpful questions. Listen for the answers.
Does he want joy and freedom, travel and adventure, home and security, family and comfort, education and learning, experimenting and discovery, spirituality and teaching? Each path looks totally different.
Just what does he feel drawn to for his life?
Or perhaps, what does he not want?

If he is open....
Give him alternatives and choices or possibilities.
Give him hope for the future and a vision of better things to come.
Give him a trip, a class, a book, a life coach, a mentor, a good friend to help him find his feet, his future and a path on which he can successfully walk.
When we can respond with Love and respond as Christ, we are direct, clear, compassionate and show the way clearly in thought, words and behavior.
When our own lives are happy, healthy, and purposeful, we can say “Come follow me.”
Most adults have muddy, conflicted lives that are much too busy, are uncommunicative and and are living off purpose.
To be at peace, we must acknowledge how we explored with trial and error to find our way.
We must forgive our mistakes and trust that consequesnces and life experiences are great teachers.
We must be confident that with fogiveness and love, we will find our way home.

Listen and love,
Give the best you have always,
Betty Lue