Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Responsible for Whose Happiness 

You are responsible for your own happiness.
I am responsible for my happiness.

You are not responsible for making me happy.
You are not responsible for keeping me happy.
I am not responsible for making you happy.
I am not responsible for keeping you happy.

Recently I found myself feeling guilty and unhappy because "you" were unhappy.
I felt conflicted about making a happy choice for me and feeling my companion was unhappy.
My human personality (ego) wanted to have both of us be happy in the experience.
So I punished myself with unhappiness and resultant head pain.

I am so aware of a world where love is defined as wanting to make others happy.
Loving relationships seem to be about sacrificing for the others' happiness.
What I have been teaching for years is "to give yourself the best is best for others."
And still when I Am One in love, I want everyone in my world to be happy with me.

Spiritually I have compassion for everyone everywhere.
The healing of God's children will be when all of us choose to be happy.
My life work is to facilitate the freedom and happiness of all.
In this I find peace and joy.

When I asked for guidance about this question "Who is responsible for whose happiness?",
this is what I heard....
"B'Lue, it is true you are responsible for your own happiness. Still you play parts of responding to others needs, so all will notice where the myth continues. Yes, mothers, fathers, men and women, wives and husbands, all are responsible.
Truly only those who are filled with happiness are able to fully respond."

Ah! I suddenly saw that on that day, when I took on the responsibility and subsequent guilt for the other's unhappiness, I was not fully happy.
When not filled with light and DeLight, one strengthens the perceived experience in oneself. In other words, where we are not wholly happy and on purpose, we may join with the unhappiness of others with guilt, judgment and wanting to change the other so we do not feel guilty. We catch, empathize or join with the lack we perceive in others. Responsibility for others may feel like sacrifice or limiting our own natural happiness and freedom.
When we are filled with Love and Light, it is natural and effortless to extend that Light and Love to others. There is no sacrifice, only gratitude, trust and fulfillment.

Loving you and me in fully loving without sacrifice or limit,
Betty Lue