Friday, November 16, 2007
Making Things Better or Worse?
If what you try doesn’t make things better, don’t do it again.
If what you try makes matters worse, don’t do it again.
If what you try feels wrong to you, don’t do it again.
If what you try leaves you with guilt and the other with pain, don’t do it again.
I watch couples, parents, employers, health providers and customers keep doing what doesn’t work.
I observe the pain we cause by hammering on a point that feels blaming and critical.
I notice the separation that occurs when we become fault finders rather than appreciation givers.
I believe if we could loosen our attachment to old habits, scripts and beliefs, we could stop more easily.
Maybe it is time to take the time to ask:
What is going wrong? What is not working?
How am I responsible?
Is there a respectful way to forgive myself, make amends and begin anew?
How can I respond to make a positive difference for all concerned?
If I can change my mind…
If I can try something new…
If I can break old negative habits….
If I can appreciate the progress rather than judge the mistakes….,
Maybe others can as well.
Developing trust after a history, brief or long term, of judgment, criticism, unforgiveness and hurt requires:
courage to admit mistakes and misunderstanding,
patience to listen and acknowledge others,
willingness to step back and let loving kindness lead the way
and open-mindedness to trust in the highest outcome.
Learning everyday from everyone
And trusting the process!
Loving you,
Betty Lue
Managing People Effectively
"Restructure your activities continually.
Regularly move resources to higher-value activities." -- Brian Tracy
"Good people are found not changed.
Recently I read a headline that said, ‘We don’t teach people to be nice.
We simply hire nice people.’ Wow! What a clever short cut." -- Jim Rohn
"Tell me, and I'll forget.
Show me, and I'll remember.
Involve me, and I'll learn." -- Marla Jones
"Without involvement, there is no commitment.
Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it.
No involvement, no commitment.”--- Stephen Covey
If what you try makes matters worse, don’t do it again.
If what you try feels wrong to you, don’t do it again.
If what you try leaves you with guilt and the other with pain, don’t do it again.
I watch couples, parents, employers, health providers and customers keep doing what doesn’t work.
I observe the pain we cause by hammering on a point that feels blaming and critical.
I notice the separation that occurs when we become fault finders rather than appreciation givers.
I believe if we could loosen our attachment to old habits, scripts and beliefs, we could stop more easily.
Maybe it is time to take the time to ask:
What is going wrong? What is not working?
How am I responsible?
Is there a respectful way to forgive myself, make amends and begin anew?
How can I respond to make a positive difference for all concerned?
If I can change my mind…
If I can try something new…
If I can break old negative habits….
If I can appreciate the progress rather than judge the mistakes….,
Maybe others can as well.
Developing trust after a history, brief or long term, of judgment, criticism, unforgiveness and hurt requires:
courage to admit mistakes and misunderstanding,
patience to listen and acknowledge others,
willingness to step back and let loving kindness lead the way
and open-mindedness to trust in the highest outcome.
Learning everyday from everyone
And trusting the process!
Loving you,
Betty Lue
Managing People Effectively
"Restructure your activities continually.
Regularly move resources to higher-value activities." -- Brian Tracy
"Good people are found not changed.
Recently I read a headline that said, ‘We don’t teach people to be nice.
We simply hire nice people.’ Wow! What a clever short cut." -- Jim Rohn
"Tell me, and I'll forget.
Show me, and I'll remember.
Involve me, and I'll learn." -- Marla Jones
"Without involvement, there is no commitment.
Mark it down, asterisk it, circle it, underline it.
No involvement, no commitment.”--- Stephen Covey