Thursday, March 13, 2008

Off to the Zoo 

Life is a zoo.
Lots to see and always something to learn.
Needing to be flexible with possibilities every minute.
Prepared for fun, adventure and whatever might come up.

Every Thursday from 7:30AM until 6:30 PM or so, we spend with three grandchildren under the age of 3. Twin girls, Lila and Harper, who will be 3 on April 27th and Beckett, 16 months, who weighs more than they do. Lila is potty trained. Beckett is pre-verbal. Harper is the emotional barometer. Each has their own precious needs and special ways of receiving and giving Love. If the weather cooperates, today we are going to the zoo.
If we learn to cooperate, we can all have fun in the zoo of our lives and life will be fun, safe and easy.

The same is true for all of us are like children. All of us are sometimes preverbal, sometimes super-sensitive, needing special attention at times and with our own precious ways of receiving and giving Love. Yet, I watch our world teach us to treat one another with disrespect and rudeness. I watch the demanding and punitive ways we talk to one another. It seems there are few people conscious enough to be respectful and responsible for the quality of our communication and creating respectful and cooperative relationships. We have taught one another falsely and need to learn to stop the process of badgering, nagging, yelling, threatening, punishing and belittling one another and ourselves now.

A few reminders expressed simply:
If I see something that needs to be done, I need to do it or find someone who is willing to do it.
It is not mine to find someone to blame or wish it would be done differently. I can go to the manager or talk to the person responsible when they are receptive and open to listen.

If I have a criticism, it must be said constructively to the one who is most willing and able to receive it.
With every constructive criticism must come at least two appreciations and commendations and always deliver with a genuine “thank you” for hearing me at the end.

I need to express myself one time only, simply and accurately with a respectful tone of voice. More than once said becomes “nagging” and the other will turn off , resist or resent rather than be willing.

I must listen and observe others to know what their level of awareness, intention, willingness and ability really is. To wish or project onto another that they are as aware, able and willing as I am is foolish.

To teach others is to first demonstrate by our behavior, words and life choices. To teach another I must be respected for who I am and how I live. To be respected I need to live what I am teaching first.

When making a mistake in how I live or talk or treat another, I must apologize immediately, learn from my mistake and never do it again. To be a fast learner is to be a great teacher.

Always treat others as you want to be treated and better. If you are used to be taught and spoken with harshly with disrespect, you may be mistaken and inappropriate in how you treat others. Take time to calm yourself and use the words that you believe will be most motivational to the other.

Whether relating to an elder, toddler, adolescent or peer, it is advisable to listen first, before speaking. Try to understand rather than being understood. Make sure they are willing and able to be present with you first. Give each one your very best, most sensitive and kind communication.
You are teaching all the universe with your thoughts, words and deeds. It is important that you learn the world is learning from you.

If you want things to change, change within yourself. Do not become like those you want to reach and teach.

Always give your very best. Treat others like a guest.

I am loving you and me and all,
Betty Lue