Wednesday, May 07, 2008

No Complaints Please! 

I had a question about the "complaint" bracelets.
"Can you define what it means to complaint?
Does it count if you say "I'm so tired" or "why is it so hot" or "maybe you can learn how to do that?"
I'm just trying to figure it out. When you state something that is true, is it complaining?"

A complaint is judging something is wrong and making a comment about it.
A complaint is wishing things would be different.
A complaint is using language to get people to change.
A complaint may be whining, nagging, demanding or expressing something you don’t like.

When we complain, it wastes our energy.
When we complain, it gives attention to what is wrong.
When we complain, it feeds others with guilt or resentment.
When we complain, it drains and fatigues us.

When we complain, we shut down communication.
When we complain, we limit our creative abilities.
When we complain, we are perceived negatively.
When we complain, we are acting like victims.

When we complain, family members stop listening.
When we complain, people often want to stay away.
When we complain, people often feel confused and helpless.
When we complain, we feel dependent on others.

Complaining is a weakened state of lack of respect and responsibility for ourselves.
Complaining reinforces our belief that externals control our lives and we are powerless.
Complaining leads to unhealthy dysfunctional control using guilt, dependency and neediness.

Complaining can be a signal ( to a conscious inspired teacher, coach and friend) you are asking for support, education and inspiration to learn tools to change the quality of your life through positive thinking, genuine appreciation and gratitude and respectful behavior and interaction with others.

When you are willing to let go of complaining:
(Have you seen the no complaint bracelets from
Start looking for what you appreciate.
Be grateful for what is good.
Acknowledge when someone does a good, respectful job.
If you see something that needs to be done, do it yourself.
Teach others by giving them always and only what you want to receive.
Correct any disrespectful or irresponsible behavior immediately.
Remember the critic (complainer) is always talking about themselves in someway.
Everyone learns better from someone who walks their talk and lives what they teach.
If you have too much to manage well, simplify your life.
Stop expecting others to same the same values as you do.
Give us the need to control others’ lives.
Don’t martyr or sacrifice and expect others to do the same.

You are teaching the world by what you think, say and do and the positive energy with which you do it.
If you complain about what you “have” to do, you will find others complain to you. ( or resent and resist!)

Life is a learning/teaching laboratory.
The best teachers are observers, are patient, persistent and happy willing learners.

Loving our learning journey to create the fun, safe and easy world we want!
Betty Lue