Saturday, November 08, 2008

Connecting and Disconnecting Habits 

(from Willaim Glasser??)

We disconnect when we criticize, complain, threaten, nag, reward to control, and/or punish.
We separate from ourselves and others when we engage in any of these with thoughts or words.
We lose touch with our heart, our center of peace and cannot perceive the heart of another.
We get lost in proving our judgments, fears and anxieties are real and fail to seek the inner truth.

When connect when we care, trust, listen, support, befriend, encourage and negotiate.
We join with ourselves and others when we pursue in any of these with thoughts or words.
We feel our own heart and establish our center of peace and see the heart of the other.
We find forgiveness and easily erase all judgments fears and anxieties when we know the Truth.

These simple seven habits of connection will save all relationships and reclaim Love.
The prevalent egoic defenses of the disconnecting habits are learned and used to save ourselves.
When we are disconnected from ourselves and God, we disconnect from others.
When we again care, trust, listen, support, encourage and befriend ourselves, we open to others.

  1. To care is to be interested in the other.
  2. To trust is to help, rely on and believe in another.
  3. To listen is to make and effort, to hear with our heart and to pay attention to another.
  4. To support is to keep from falling or sinking, to keep each other from failing, to yield.
  5. To befriend is to be a friend of someone we know, like and trust.
  6. To encourage is to inspire with confidence.
  7. To negotiate is to confer with others to reach our agreements and to settle disagreements.
The highest form of connection is to Love as God Loves, with no limit, lack or end.

What would it take for us to build a world of connection?
How would we remember to cease our disconnecting habits?
Can we teach one by one, those we encounter to feel connected?
Can we eradicate fear by remembering to forgive our selves for disconnecting?

No more gossip with criticism or complaint.
No more nagging, threatening or rewarding others to get out way.
No more punishing others passively or overtly.
When we stop the disconnecting habits, forgive ourselves for the mistakes and return to love, we feel connected and can begin to honestly care, trust, listen, support, befriend, encourage and negotiate.

We know we are connecting with ourselves and others when we feel love and trust, when we listen and support, when we encourage and befriend and when we only want win-win solutions.

I am loving you,
Betty Lue