Thursday, January 08, 2009

Love is Respectful 

When you want to love someone, always remember to respect them.
Respect their privacy.
Respect their boundaries.
Respect their timing.
Respect their choices.
Respect their needs.
Respect their history.
Respect their ideas.
Respect their beliefs.
Respect their healing.
Respect their growth.
Respect their differences.

Respect your own uniqueness.
And in turn, they learn to respect yours.

What does respect mean?
Listen and acknowledge their ways though different than yours.
You have no need to tell them how you are different unless they want to know.
You have no right to mind their business by treating them like a child you want to train in your ways.

Whenever we tell someone what to do, what to believe or choose, you are acting like a parent.
Whenever we interrupt or interfere with another’s way of handling life, we are saying our way is right.
Whenever we teach, counsel, advise or order another to listen to and buy in to us, we disempower them.

Don’t tell others what to believe.
Don’t demand others accommodate your choices.
Don’t suggest they do it things a different way.
Let everyone learn through life experience, unless there is a safety issue for you or for them.

When there is a potential for harm, you can speak up and say, “That feels unsafe or scary for me.”
When you want to know their thinking to learn from another, you can ask in a respectful way.
When you are making joint plans, you can ask for their input and feedback on your ideas.
When you want to create an intimate sharing, you need to first ask permission.
i.e. ”Would you be willing to share with me your ideas and listen to mine?”

Love is respectful.
Love is trusting another’s path and process.
Love is freeing yourself and them from your judgments, opinions and beliefs.
Love is letting go of your need to be right and allowing for differences.

Blessings on learning the path to respectful relating.
Betty Lue

“I respect and trust your decision to do what is best for you.” This is LOVE!