Monday, June 08, 2009


What is the purpose of relationships?
What is their value to me?
How do I know who to choose and how long to stay?
How do relationships work to benefit me and the other?

Everything is an excuse to be in relationship.
Relationships are for the purpose of healing or the return to wholeness.
The work in relationships is to heal your perceptions so you reveal the goodness in yourself and the other.
Every encounter has healing potential; therefore every relationship is holy.

Some people choose a relationship because of physical attraction and chemistry.
When the attraction fades or is covered with the worldly reality, the relationship ends.
Here the value is to see that the physical stuff is temporary, like gold paint on a frame.
When we love what will be hidden by criticism, disappointment and pain, the love fades over time.

Some choose relationships where they can get the love and approval, help and support they want.
When needs are satisfied, the relationship works and continues with giver and taker.
When the needy one is no longer pleased with the quality or quantity of help, love and care given, the relationship becomes demanding or ends with resentment.
When the giver feels used or abused, there may be confusion, blame or a withdrawal of love.

Some relationships are to learn lessons and heal parts of ourselves.
There is an opportunity to become aware of unforgiveness, comparison, neediness and to heal within.
There may we experiences which elucidate what is needed to heal oneself and become appreciative.
Where there is self forgiveness, open-mindedness and appreciation there is healing.

Some relationships are simply for a fellow spiritual traveler, a companion and co-creator.
Along the way, unhealed past patterns emerge but are treated with compassion and understanding.
The relationship is valued as a tool for each person to continue their spiritual development.
There is little or no attachment to the form of relationship for both see it as helpful to the journey.

There are many forms of relationship.
The personality which feels lacking uses its relationships to fulfill the need.
The need may be to heal, to forgive, to fix, to support, to grow, to be loved, but the underlying need is to remember to give and be and teach the Love we are.
All of us are here to remember to Love, to trust and free ourselves and others in the return to wholenss.

Whatever the relationship (lovers, married partners, parent/child, co-workers, friends), we all have much to share (teach and learn) with our life experiences and expressions.
No matter how long we are together ( brief encounters or lifetime), there is always healing value.
When we remember the beauty, the goodness, the blessing of loving one another, there is healing.

Let go with Love and appreciation and there is healing.
Continue on with Love and gratitude and there is healing.
Think of, speak about demonstrate Love and gratitude and there is healing.
The healing intention of all relationships is the return to Love (trust and freedom) and the remembrance of our intrinsic wholeness and holiness.

And so it is. Blessed be all relationships, for they are all a blessing.
Betty Lue
The Butterfly Garden and Butchart Gardens in Victoria, BC (our May trip to Alaska)