Friday, August 14, 2009

How Long Do You Stay? 

How Long Do You Stay?
When Do You Quit?

If a situation or relationship brings out the worst in you, do you stay?
If you get indigestion after you eat in a restaurant you enjoy, do you go back?
If you are tired of picking up after your kids, do you continue?
If you embarrass yourself when you drink too much, do you do it again?

Are you banging your head against the same wall again and again?
Are you living or working in a situation that makes sick and tired?
Are you hanging in there with someone expecting them to change?
Are you asking for and demanding something that seems impossible?

When do you let go?
Are your loyalties for a lifetime, even if it kills you?
Are you willing to sacrifice because you made a promise?
Do you believe you can change the person or situation?

Do you quit too soon?
Do you stay too long?
Do you try for change?
Do you hang on with no results?

Life is a choice.
You are responsible first for your own well-being.
You cannot expect others to care about you when they do not care for themselves.
You can treat yourself with respect, trust and care to teach others how to treat themselves and you.

You must model the behavior you want to teach.
You must be a good steward of your own life energy.
You must always seek for better ways of living and loving.
You must be true to your real purpose for being here.

If you can see it it time to let go.
Communicate exactly what you intend.
If asked why, be specific and explicit.
State “I feel…, I want ….I am willing….” without guilt or blame.

Set clear timelines and state specific choices to care for yourself.
If the other asks for reasons, be clear about what you want and are willing to do to have what you want.
Staying too long drags out the uncertainty and feelings of fear and failure.
Leaving too soon, does not allow completion and learning the lessons of patience and trust.

When you decide to leave, make it simple, efficient and without rancor or blame.
When you move on, let go with gratitude for the learnings, with blessings for all concerned.
When you are fulfilling your commitment to yourself, be appreciative of your willingness.
When you let go with love, you will move on to a better place with greater awareness.

You can and must choose what your know to be for the Highest and Best of All.
You can and must release situations where you cannot stay in love and at peace.
You can and must undo what is not for the Good of everyone involved.
You can and must model self care and respect for one Self.

Choose to release the past with consciousness, respect for all and trust in the future.
Blessings of Peace to one and all,
Betty Lue

Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day,
and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt, crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a
new day;
begin it well and serenely,
with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays...

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let go quickly and easily of all that depletes you.
Lift your thoughts, words and actions only to the Good.
This is the secret to being happy and filled with the energy of appreciation and fulfillment.


How do you complete a relationship, a marriage, a teaching-learning experience, a job, a friendship?
How do you know you are really complete?
Often people walk away without really finishing the spiritual work, because it is easier emotionally.
People don’t know how to come to a truly peaceful place, where “good-bye” is really “God be with You.”
When we are complete, we are at peace and in love. We have no regrets, no resentments, no unhappy memories.

Honorable closure acknowledges:
1) the learning and growth received,
2) challenges and difficulties experienced,
3) appreciation of gifts and blessings,
4) forgiveness and amends made.

Acknowledge within your self and the other all that you have learned and how you have grown and benefited from the experience.
Honor and express the challenges and difficulties that occurred and perhaps were endured during the time together.
Offer your gratitude and appreciation to the other for the benefits you received.
Share your forgiveness and/or make amends for those places of unconscious or conscious errors of omission or commission.
Often neither party is aware of what went unexpressed until the two have an opportunity to talk together.
This is very valuable when done with the conscious intention for a peaceful conclusion.
And lastly, give your full appreciation and blessings to those whom you are leaving.

Honorable closure always includes a face to face or heart to heart connection so all parties have an opportunity to express their piece. Incompletion is never one sided.
If one party loses and is in grief neither person is at peace.
Do your part when you part.
When we complete a relationship, job, living situation with honor for all, we are free to choose again without being haunted by the past or unconsciously repeating the same patterns.
To move on, to create anew, to be fully inspired requires honorable closure. Begin now.
Saying good-bye can be done with love, respect and profound gratitude and inner peace.

~Betty Lue