Monday, November 16, 2009

Keep It Simple 

When you want to remember what to do to have successful relationships, here are a few guidelines to practice.  Your relationships with parents, children, partners, friends, coworkers and even strangers all deserve your best.  When you manage to practice these few simple rules of engagement, you will be surprised by the success you experience.

Rules of Engagement

No need to argue or fight.
Share your point of view and let go.
If you have a position, state it once and then listen.
No rebuttle, or last word is needed.

Drop your need to be “right”.
Pushing to win always yields loss.
When the other person feels your need to make them wrong, they either withdraw or fight.  Neither way works for a successful and respectful relationship.
Choose to be happy.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.
And it is all small stuff. Much ado over nothing yields nothing. When you become critical or demanding over the petty matters, then you teach that nothing really is important.
Give your energy to those principles that are really important and do it with respect.

Teach and lead by example.
Everyone is watching you. Know that your thoughts, words and deeds all belie who you are and what matters to you.  Choose to live what you are teaching.  Acknowledge all mistakes with an immediate apology and new choice for a better way.

Love everyone equally.
Specialness leads to trouble.  Too often we treat strangers or neighbors better than family.  Or perhaps we favor to one child or one friend.  When we are not respecting and valuing everyone equally, we ask others to get our attention with problems, injuries or illnesses.
When people want our love and attention, they will use anything to get it.

Be respectful and kind.
Lack of respect and kindness beget more of the same. Remember to treat everyone as you want to be treated.  Teach others to speak with you by the way you consistently speak to them.  Keep your language respectful and appropriate for all ears.  Live as though God is listening for indeed God in you and all is listening. Even infants hear your feelings.

Listen with your heart and seek to understand.
The words cover up the underlying meaning. Listen deeper than the words or complaints and needs say, because spoken words are covering the deepest needs of each individual.
When you feel the emotion, intuit the need and respond with respect and love, the other feels heard and received.  When you do not know what to do or say, simply ask, “What can I do that would be most helpful to you right now?”

Remember:
The Peace of God is my single goal, the aim of all my living here.
It is the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life.
From ACIM

Our Goal is Peace.
Our Purpose is Happiness.
Our Function is Forgiving everyone and everything.
Erase anything that teaches fear and Lack of Love.

The Healing of God’s Son is all the world is for.
To heal is to make happy and make whole.

I Am a Loving Reminder and so Are You!
Betty Lue